Being a Martha and a Mary

In order for my goals to be met for my little one, my relationship with my husband should be a top priority. This is something that I have really been pondering on a lot lately. I have been wanting to write on other topics, but I feel like God was really pushing this on my heart. I am a firm believer in placing God first, my husband second, and my little one third. If the order of these relationships get mixed up, all the others will suffer. I have been feeling very torn by this because currently I feel like it is all about my little one, which I enjoy, but I also love my husband. Amid his long and busy hours at work, I try to spend time with him, but every time we are intentional about it, she cries. It is so hard to listen to her cry in the other room while I am in the middle of spending time with my husband. He is very understanding most of the time which I am thankful for, but I am still hard on myself. I have always been that way, not showing much grace to myself and expecting too much. I always want to give everything I do my all and if I don't, I feel like I am disappointing those whom I love.

This morning at 4am, while I was feeding my little one, God put on my heart the story of Mary and Martha in the Bible. I read Luke 10:38-42 for my time spent with God which says:

"Now it happened as they went that He entered a certain village; and a certain woman named Martha welcomed Him into her house.  And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus’ feet and heard His word.  But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, 'Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me.' And Jesus answered and said to her, 'Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.'".

Here's what I have gathered about both women:

  

Martha

• Oldest
• Hard worker and takes it seriously 
• Detail oriented 
• Pleases people through what she knows she needs to do 
• Recognizes and is comfortable with who Jesus is 
• Bold, speaks her mind 

Mary 

• Youngest 
• Has a yearning for the Lord
• Soaks in what the Lord has to say
• Sits at His feet- humble and personal

Nothing was wrong with the traits of Martha. All of them showed me she wanted to do what was right. But she got caught up in doing that instead of drawing near to the one Person who used those traits she had. All of those things she thought were more important to do were things that were not going to last. Jesus is the only thing that will last in the long run. When I get old and grey and my body and mind are unable to do what I used to be able to do what will I be able to rest in? As I think about older people I know that are unable to do things because of their body or mind, I see they are sad, disconnected, and yearning to fill up those longings with drinking, gambling, relationships with others, or even food. But they're still sad. On the contrary, I then think of the people who are older and drawing near to God and they seem happy and focused. There is a reason. They have their focus on God. He, in turn, guides them and helps them to do the things they can do. God will help me be the better wife and mother if I just draw near to Him. Everything else will be done when He enables me to do so. "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you" as it says in James 4:8.

Now, I am not saying to abandon all and just focus on God. But rather seek out His face and give to Him my fears and my time. He wants me to invest in my relationships with my daughter and husband. He wants me to teach her about Him. He wants me to be that help meet for my husband. God will last forever in my life and also the lives of my husband and daughter if I only rest in Him first.    

Goals for my little one

Ever since I could remember, I just wanted to be a mom. When someone asked me what I wanted to do, I always told them I wanted to be a mommy. As I grew up and matured, I realized the world did not revolve around me. People grew old and died. Others were less fortunate than me  economically and relationally with their loved ones and just seemed lost with no direction. Life was not about me. Old and young people needed me to encourage them and love on them. I saw how many young people grew up in dysfunctional homes and did not see anything wrong because that was normal to them. Often they continued on in their parent's footsteps, repeating the cycle. It made me sad to see the hurt and pain they experienced but unable to turn away from it. We live in such a sad world.

When I found out I was pregnant I knew I wanted to be as ready as anyone could be to be the best mom possible. I saw in the lives of others and the lives of my own family members how one decision could change everything.  I did not want to continue on those family choices that were carried down from generation to generation. I read many books, studied God's Word in the Proverbs, and joined a mommy group. But even now, as a mommy with a 2 month old, I realize I have a lot information and resources with little ways to implement them. I have to set goals for my little one. Who do I want her to be? What are things that I want to discontinue in my own life to be a better example? Who do I have in my life to encourage me? How is my relationship with my husband? These are questions that cross my mind. 

So here are some of my goals, simple or long term, based off of information and words of wisdom that I have gathered from my research for my little one:

1) I wish for my little one to know who Christ can be in her life

2) I wish for my little one to know and rely on the Word of God

3) I wish for my little one to see others that are different from her as opportunities for her to bless them and help them

4) I wish for my little one to learn sign language to communicate, but also to develop her language skills

5) I wish for my little one to experience skills such as cooking, gardening, budgeting money, canning, being resourceful and many other things that can help her to be a responsible young lady. 

6) I wish for my little one to be independent and confident through effectively and emotionally communicating with me, her dad and others in her life

These are just a few of my wishes. What about you? What are some goals you have for your kids? Having kids means being intentional at a young age. As parents we cannot wait until they get older to teach them. They need to know at a young age. Even parents with older kids, it is never too late to set goals. The following blog posts will be on the research I have done.