Righteous anger

God is truly working in my life! There is so much spiritual warfare because of it. Satan does not want this and all my weaknesses are flying up all around me. I am struggling but God is in control. I just need to continue to trust in that and lean on that and be directed by His word. 

Lately though, the world around seems so bleak to me. I am reading up on War World II history and see how sad war can make people show their natural evil side. It is sickening what those Japanese soldiers did to those POWs. I even recently heard of a rule at the local school that when kids miss a certain amount of school by skipping or even being pulled out for some family thing there is a fee the parents have to pay. If those parents dont pay that fee, they go to jail. Now wait a minute! Where is the responsibility for the kids? I mean these are older kids who know what they are doing is wrong and the parents get blamed. Ok? mmm... Like I have stated before in previous blogs, I believe the time is coming when life is not going to be the same. How will I respond? Would I respond in hatred and bitterness like how the POWs were treated? Or would I respond like God and Jesus did when He was here on earth with righteous indignation solely because the will of God was violated and disobeyed? I found this website and looked up the verses of when God and Jesus got mad and then found a verse in the Bible to tell the direct disobedience it was. 

  

*Exodus 4:1-14

                God became angry at Moses because he was allowing fear to make him not trust God

                God showed him the miraculous things right there but Moses still was afraid

1 John 4:17-18

17Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness in the day of judgment; because as He is, so are we in this world. 18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.

*Exodus 22:21-24

                God will get angry if one afflicts the fatherless and the widow

Exodus 22:19-21  19When you reap your harvest in your field and forget a sheaf in the field, you shall not go back to get it. It shall be for the sojourner, the fatherless, and the widow, that the Lord your God may bless you in all the work of your hands. 20 When you beat your olive trees, you shall not go over them again. It shall be for the sojourner, the fatherless, and the widow. 21 When you gather the grapes of your vineyard, you shall not strip it afterward. It shall be for the sojourner, the fatherless, and the widow.

Deut 26:12-13 12 “When you have finished paying all the tithe of your produce in the third year, which is the year of tithing, giving it to the Levite, the sojourner, the fatherless, and the widow, so that they may eat within your towns and be filled, 13 then you shall say before the Lord your God, ‘I have removed the sacred portion out of my house, and moreover, I have given it to the Levite, the sojourner, the fatherless, and the widow, according to all your commandment that you have commanded me. I have not transgressed any of your commandments, nor have I forgotten them.

Is 1:17 17     learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, plead the widow's cause.

James 1:27 Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.

*Mark 3:1-6

Jesus was angry at the Pharisees because they were waiting to see if Jesus would heal the man on the Sabbath.

Deut 10:12-22 12 “And now, Israel, what does the Lord your God require of you, but to fear the Lord your God, to walk in all his ways, to love him, to serve the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul, 13 and to keep the commandments and statutes of the Lord, which I am commanding you today for your good? 14 Behold, to the Lord your God belong heaven and the heaven of heavens, the earth with all that is in it. 15 Yet the Lord set his heart in love on your fathers and chose their offspring after them, you above all peoples, as you are this day. 16 Circumcise therefore the foreskin of your heart, and be no longer stubborn. 17 For the Lord your God is God of gods and Lord of lords, the great, the mighty, and the awesome God, who is not partial and takes no bribe. 18 He executes justice for the fatherless and the widow, and loves the sojourner, giving him food and clothing. 19 Love the sojourner, therefore, for you were sojourners in the land of Egypt. 20 You shall fear the Lord your God. You shall serve him and hold fast to him, and by his name you shall swear. 21 He is your praise. He is your God, who has done for you these great and terrifying things that your eyes have seen. 22 Your fathers went down to Egypt seventy persons, and now the Lord your God has made you as numerous as the stars of heaven.

Ps 51:17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.

Pro 11:20 Those of crooked heart are an abomination to the Lord, but those of blameless ways are his delight.

Pro 12:20 Deceit is in the heart of those who devise evil, but those who plan peace have joy.

Pro 16:5 Everyone who is arrogant in heart is an abomination to the Lord; be assured, he will not go unpunished.

*John 2:13-22

                Jesus walks into the temple and people was treating it like a marketplace not a place of holiness. (for their own personal gain) He gets angry make a whip and throws over the tables and money.

Ezekiel 48:12 This is the law of the temple: the whole territory on the top of the mountain all around shall be most holy. Behold, this is the law of the temple.

1 Cor 3:17 If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy him. For God's temple is holy, and you are that temple. (This is our bodies not the physical temple)

 verses from http://bible.org/seriespage/righteous-anger-ephesians-426-27

My Holocaust Museum experience

Today my husband, my father-in-law, and I went to Washington D.C to go the holocaust museum's 20th anniversary tribute. Elie Wiesel and Bill Clinton were there just as it was 20 years ago. We walked into this huge tent that seemed more like a building to me with rows and rows of chairs. The tent was filled with people of so many different ages from different countries. Everyone had a name tag hung around their neck telling who they were. Survivor. Child of a survivor. Grandchild of survivor. Veteran. Even survivor and veteran. It was like no other experience! I was in the presence of men and women who survived Hitler's wrath and men and women that fought against Hitler's wrath. I felt clueless and inexperience. 

As the ceremony was about to begin, a group of flags began to gather behind us. They were the flags that represented the 36 infantries, armored, and airborne divisions that liberated the camps of victimized Jews and POWs. I never thought of that important aspect of World War II. 

The army band started the ceremony with the entrance of the flags. It was definitely different from what I grew up with dad being in the air force. There were 4 speakers that played different roles in the holocaust museum. Then there came Elie Wiesel. He was an old slow little man with a strong accent and bold personality. His tribute was to remind us of how we cannot forget what happen and need to continue to tell the next generation the stories we hear and are told. Then Bill Clinton spoke. He was getting old : ) His relationship with Elie has lasted the past 20 years based of learning and remembering together. 

It was a very moving ceremony. One of the speakers told us that there was about 800 survivors and 150 veterans there with us today! Wow I did not realize that there was so many! What an experience! 

Besides the ceremony, there was a schedule events throughout the day. One was the new exhibit that was opened for the first time this weekend called Some were Neighbors: Collaboration and Complicity in the Holocaust. There were three types of people this exhibit that they described: pro-nazi, onlooker, and anti-nazi. The nazis themselves were the S.S, the S.A, the Hitler youth, and people who joined the nazi party. They were cruel and found pleasure in torturing the Jews. The onlookers were the ones who were not particularly fond of the nazis but were afraid of doing anything to fight against the nazis. The anti-nazis were the ones that fought against the nazis and their horrible deeds. They were a teacher who hid Jewish students. They were the ones who sponsor Jews to leave the county to go to the united states. They were the ones who hid people and risked their lives. Which one would I be? 

This is something that I have been REALLY thinking about alot lately. For the ones who pay attention to the news, I believe very soon that our lives are not going to be the same. We are going to loose our freedoms, our freedom of speech, our freedom to bare arms, our freedom of religion. I dont know when but it seems so soon. How will I respond? Just like War World II with the Japanese, the Germans, the Russians, and probably most likely even the Americans, men are naturally evil. War brings out the worse in people. When life is unsettling, it makes people anxious and unsettled and become selfish thinking only of themselves. I have not lost my freedoms and war is not going on but anyone who knows me, I can be a selfish person. Over the smallest things, I can be so self-centered. But this last semester at Teen Club at church, we have been studying every scripture pertaining to the word gospel. I have been enjoying it learning about Paul and how he was motivated by the gospel. I am no where near that. I allow the things of this world to affect me. I allow fear and pride and anger to influence me. To be honest, sometimes it just comes out and right after I do it, I feel so convicted. Am I not living by grace? Am I still the one who wants to be in control? I dont like it but I really allow it. But I believe God is planting something in my heart. He is leading me. He is directing me. Is it going to be forced upon me like Turkey when I was 14 or Grace Children's Home? Or can I just learn it? Take a leap of faith and trust in God and allow the gospel to motivate me. Now I need to remind you that I am NO WHERE near this at all. I am humbling come before God about this. I am yearning and praying for that transformation in my life. No more Netflix. Less of Facebook. More of God's word. More of telling others about Christ. The time is seriously coming. What am I going to do? Just like the museum's motto: What YOU do matters.

Another verse on who I am

Here's another verse I found for my last blog

The Lord looks from heaven;
He sees all the sons of men.
¹⁴ From the place of His dwelling He looks
On all the inhabitants of the earth;
¹⁵ He fashions their hearts individually;
He considers all their works. Ps 33:13-14

He looks down from heaven and fashions my heart individually and considers all my works. HUGE! Pray I can trust in that great power today

Who I am

This blog is being written at a spurt of a moment...I am in one of those pondering moods... I dont do this very often : )

I have always been known as the serious one. I remember when I was younger, as far back as 7th grade. I never was real goofy or did outlandish things. I think the "craziest" thing I have ever done was driving in circles in a church parking lot with my friends after youth group back in high school. Yeah I know totally rebellious : P I even remember several times when I was with someone and they were doing something that made me feel uncomfortable, I would always tend to withdraw. There has always been one person who are more outgoing and bubbly than I. I know it use to brother me alot because everyone would want to be around that person even though they did like me. It is always more fun to be around someone who is more lively than I am.

Now as I have matured and almost out of the twenties, I joke around but is serious about when one gets older you really begin to not care at all what others think of you when you are just having fun. This is coming out of someone who owns 43 gnomes and is very proud of it : ) I mean it is kinda freeing to be able to have fun and not be insecure. But my personality is still the same. Matured but the same. I am the serious one. I get passionate about things that people dont seem to think are that big of a deal. And there is still many people who are more bubbly than I am. I have to say I still struggle with it but I do realize and I think (the reason for this blog) that I am ok with it.

It has been something that God has been putting on my heart alot lately. Besides being serious, I also am emotional. I wear my emotions on my sleeve as the saying goes. Sometimes I feel like that is a burdened or annoyance too. But like I said God has been changing my heart little by little about that. It always takes me back to Psalms 139:13-18

  For You formed my inward parts;

You covered me in my mother’s womb.

 I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;[b]

Marvelous are Your works,

And that my soul knows very well.

 My frame was not hidden from You,

When I was made in secret,

And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.

 Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.

And in Your book they all were written,

The days fashioned for me,

When as yet there were none of them.

 How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!

How great is the sum of them!

 If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand;

When I awake, I am still with You.

The parts that I are highlighted are what comes to mind. I am fearfully and wonderfully made! In His book all my days are written down. How precious are God's thoughts about me! There is tons of them, more in number than the sand!

Isaiah 64:8

 But now, O Lord,

You are our Father;

We are the clay, and You our potter;

And all we are the work of Your hand

I should not question the way I am. I am the work of my Creator's hand! He created me for ME! I am more emotional than others. I am more serious than others. Not everyone relates to the bubbly person. There always is a need for balance. Please pray for me as I go through this time of searching who God has made me. 

My Mind

Before I get into what I want to write about, first and foremost God is faithful as always. Today, at church my pastor was talking about Abram in Chapter 15 going through a hard and dark time of struggling on trusting God even when he was just accounted for righteousness by God. But God then told Abram that He was the Lord and was going to be with him and to know that certainty even when things go wrong for his descendants. Then, we went back at night and pastor was in Genesis 29, the same chapter I was encouraged in from my blog last month
http://myjourneyinchristinme.blogspot.com/2013/02/feeling-like-jacob.html 
It is just awesome to know that though I want to feel unsettle, I still linger towards having peace. He continues to show me He is faithful and I just need to take it as a day by day process as He continues to mold me. But...

I have been struggling this past week with my thoughts and mind. It is the whole baby thing again, struggling to understand when it is the "right" time and if there is any "right" time by my standards. But all of this starts with my mind. What I allow in my mind consumes me. If it is negativity, I will be negative. If it is discontentment or coveting, I will be discontent and coveting what others have. I cant be a living sacrifice for God if I dont renew my mind every moment of the day. I need to remain watchful because like 1 Peter 5:8-11 says,
"Be sober, be vigilant; because^[c] your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. ⁹ Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world. ¹⁰ But may^[d] the God of all grace, who called us^[e] to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you. ¹¹ To Him be the glory and the dominion forever and ever. Amen"

Amen is right : ) I also need to to remember that I am  not fighting the things of this world like wishing I was like everyone on Facebook having babies or my husband when I feel like we are not on the same page but satan himself who does not want me to trust God completely with His perfect time and will. 
It all starts with with my mind. Here is some scriptures I found a few weeks ago.

Is 26:3
You will keep him in perfect peace,
Whose mind is stayed on You,
Because he trusts in You.

Luke 12:29-31
 “And do not seek what you should eat or what you should drink, nor have an anxious mind. ³⁰ For all these things the nations of the world seek after, and your Father knows that you need these things. ³¹ But seek the kingdom of God, and all these things^[a] shall be added to you.
  
Romans 7:21-25
 I find then a law, that evil is present with me, the one who wills to do good. ²² For I delight in the law of God according to the inward man. ²³ But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. ²⁴ O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? ²⁵ I thank God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!
So then, with the mind I myself serve the law of God, but with the flesh the law of sin.

Romans 8:5-8
 For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. ⁶ For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. ⁷ Because the carnal mind is enmity against God; for it is not subject to the law of God, nor indeed can be. ⁸ So then, those who are in the flesh cannot please God.

2 Cor 10:3-5
For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. ⁴ For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, ⁵ casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ,

Romans 12:1-2
 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. ² And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

Feeling like Jacob

Lately, I have been feeling overwhelming blessed by God. His promises are real and He is so faithful.
Psalm 32:8-9
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will guide you with My eye. 
 Do not be like the horse or like the mule,
Which have no understanding,
Which must be harnessed with bit and bridle,
Else they will not come near you.
 John 16:33
These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will^[a] have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”
2 Samuel 22:31
 As for God, His way is perfect;
The word of the Lord is proven;
He is a shield to all who trust in Him.

All of these are promises from God and He has shown me that He keep these promises in situations in my life just like He did with Jacob. 
In Genesis 27 verse 41, it says that Esau hated Jacob because their father blessed Jacob instead of him. After Esau was done mourning for his father, he was going to kill Jacob. Rebekah of course overhears this and tells Jacob to flee to Laban, her brother and not to come back until his brother's anger has subsided. She also told him to find myself a wife among their family. 
In Chapter 28, Jacob is on his way fleeing from his brother and settles down for the night between Beersheba and Haran. He falls asleep and as we all know, he has a dream of angels going up and down a staircase from heaven. Then he hears God's voice telling him the same promise that He kept with his grandfather Abraham and father Isaac. This is the land I have given to you and your descendants will multiply and scatter everywhere. But the verse I that was the best one was verse 15 
  Behold, I am with you and will keep you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land; for I will not leave you until I have done what I have spoken to you.”

I am with you and keep you wherever you go. Jacob woke up energized and made an oath to God to saying he will keep the promise God has made with him and his family.
In the next chapter, Jacob continues on his journey and comes to some shepherds and their sheep. He asks where they are from and if they knew of Laban. They responded they were from Haran and did know of Laban. As he was talking, Rachel, Laban's daughter came up with her father's sheep. Jacob waters her sheep for her. He approaches her and kisses her and weeps. He tells her that he is her father's relative and that Rebekah's son. 
Imagine that! Jacob is fleeing for his life away from his family, probably feeling sad and alone. Then God refreshes Jacob on His promise to him promising the land and multiplied descendants. He goes on in faith and runs into his relatives and just wept. It was God continuing to be faithful to Jacob where it just left him humbled and thankful for his faithful covenant keeping God.
That is how I feel. Humbled and thankful for God's promises as He continues to work in my life. As most of you know, I have long to have a baby but God has showed me that it is not His timing right now and that He is directing me where He wants me to go. Recently, Cyrus and I have been talking about kids and making tentative plans. Now I am not pregnant or not trying right now but our conversations were blessings from God, telling me Kristina, I know your heart and my perfect plan for you. Just continue to trust and lean on my promises and where I direct you where you need to go. I am your shield who you can trust in. Dont worry about the things or circumstances in your life that you cant control because I have overcome the world. So thankful : )  

"What", "How" and "Why": my present circumstances in the crazy world

Lately, I have been researching and informing myself on our current state here in the U.S with the fiscal cliff, the gun control issue, just how this all will affect us. I get so wrapped up in it where I am torn. I know as a Christian Who is in control and how I need to avoid disputes which politics only produce, but what is my role as a Christian in politics? I want to do more. I want to stay informed. My world as I know it is falling apart but God is in control.
In my informing myself, I ran into this video on The Blaze website. Glenn Beck says that there are 2 issues currently invading the media and news: the fiscal cliff and Sandy Hook with the gun control. He says the media is missing the "why" the why it is happening. Beck then shows this diagram of 3 circles inside each other like a target. The outer circle is "what" as in what happened, the middle circle is "how" as in how did it happen, and "why" as in why did it happen. For example, for Sandy Hook the "what" is a 20 year old young man goes in and kills innocent kids. The "how" is he went into the school with a firearm he got from his mom. The media says the "why" is because there is no gun control. But Glenn Beck says the "why" is because of the young man came from a broken family and surrounded himself with this world's immoral values. Beck also has a target for "what", "how" and "why" he started his tv/radio program. He does it through books, radio, tv, etc. The "how" is through good hardworking people and the "why" is because of liberty, self empowerment, God, personal responsibility,  the constitution, freedom of conscience. That is the"why" he has started this tv channel. But it got me thinking what is my "what", "how", and "why" in my present situation? My "what" is what roles I have in this present time in my life such as being a wife, a employee at a daycare, a leader in youth group, a daughter, a daughter in law, a sister, and a friend. And "how" do I do this? I read God's word, I pray, I build relationships with friends and family. But the "why" is what gets me. "Why" do I read God's word? "Why" do I pray? "Why" do I build relationships? This is what my goal is, to figure out my "why". Or better yet, remain BEING STILL until God guides and shows me as I know He promises me. Will it be to share with others WHO is ultimately in control instead of fretting over the current issues that face us? Will it be becoming more intentional in my conversations with people? Will it be allowing God to work through me through His grace and strength? I really dont know. But all this really has me thinking. I hope I challenged u to think outside your box and look at what is really going on. 


http://www.video.theblaze.com/media/video.jsp?content_id=25542499&topic_id=24584158&tcid=vpp_copy_25542499&v=3