Christmas thoughts and happenings

I cannot believe that it is already the 13th! This Christmas season has gone by so fast with some exciting things happening. First, my in-laws gave Cyrus and I $500 to go visit my family in California. We are going out there next month. I am excited! Living far away from my parents make me appreciate them alot. It is hard not being around them for the holidays and I think my in laws see that. But I came up with an idea. I decided to wanted to spend the holidays with my parents (mostly mom) by calling them on the phone everyday until Christmas. My goal was to share what God is showing us this Christmas season and shared it with each other and pray about it. I have tried to add fun things like singing Christmas carols or going to 360cities.net and visiting a place together. I hope to watch a movie with them over the phone but we will see. I want to write this all down and share online somewhere because I think there are alot of people who don't live near their families and want to connect with them.
I think it is amazing to see how I serve a God that never changes. I think as humans it is so easy to  make a big deal about Jesus on Christmas and Easter but loose sight of Him all other times of the year. This Christmas season I have reflected more about this entire year and how He continues on to show Himself even more. I serve a faithful God! I serve a God who knows my heart's desires. I serve a God who loves and protects me. I serve a God who gives strength, peace, and contentment. The coolest thing is He came down as a baby away from all His glory in heaven to be a human, to experience this horrible human body and show us the true example we need to live. He uses imperfect people to prepare the way for Him for many many many years (judah and tamar, rehab, ruth, david and bathsheba) and even to bring Himself into this world. Such perfect grace and holiness!
Cyrus also gets to take a break this season from the business and work another job. It will be nice to go to the winter festival with him and his family since he won't be working at all on Saturdays for awhile. I just continue to pray as God shows us what's next. But I am excited for Cyrus being done for the Christmas season.
Also I get to direct, with a co worker, the Christmas program at the daycare. The theme is the sweetest Christmas ever. Everything is around candy. There is even a big part of the program where candy gives us a reminder of all the parts of the Christmas story. http://www.juliabettencourt.com/dev/sweetchristmasdev.html It is exciting to see the little ones knowing their lines and singing their songs. It has been interesting to see how it came about but fun to plan with co workers and the kids.
The Christmas is not over yet and I can't wait to see how much more God continues to bless us.

God knows best for me : )

The past 3 weeks have been very interesting but the results are huge. I love to see how God uses things in my life to bring Himself glory. It just makes me feel content and happy when I think about it.

For about 10 years, I have dealt with constipation and I did not realize it. In result, I would do things to hurt my natural way of going. Three weeks ago, I freaked myself out because this time I had abdominal pain with it. So I made an appointment to see the doctor and he recommended I have a colonoscopy. The time between the doctor's appointment and the procedure seem like it took forever. Naturally, as a human, I would entertain thoughts that would freak me out, always thinking the worst. BUT I kept drawing near to God. I "loved" how Satan used things like lack of sleep, emotional craziness, and all the things that I struggle with to distract me. BUT God was faithful. So faithful. Well after the procedure (which went very well and I am ok), I now have to deal with the "consequences" of doing something to your body that is not normal. I have a nice little bill coming in the mail soon and now I have to figure out a way to deal with the constipation. BUT God is in control and His promises never change.

 31“Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.            Matthew 6:31-34

It is going to be ok. He knows what we need and will provide. I dont need to allow myself to be consumed what I need to eat. I dont need to worry about how we are going to pay. God knows what is best for me. BUT here comes the best part : ) My God knows ME! He has made me who I am for His glory even in the way I respond to things, with my weaknesses and my strengths. He knows that I like to freak out about my health. He knows that He can get my attention when there is something that I considered a weakness of mine and makes it into this big thing (that really is not that big to Him of course : D ) where it forces me to have to change something. In result, I draw near to Him and once again He is glorified. Let me give you another example : )

December 2008, Cyrus and I just got married. We also started to work together 3 days at Girls Cottage and 3 days at Boys Cottage. Well, on one wet day, in the evening before leaving to go to Boys Cottage, I was working with some girls on their consequences in their charts. One girl got mad at me about a consequence. By this time, I was tired and ready to go on to Boys Cottage and to be honest, dont really remember but I just snapped. It ended up where the one girl and another girl both got mad at me and I left the house in my socks absolutely so mad. One of the other staff were out with the boys and saw me upset and called our supervisor. I made it back to the cottage and our supervisor was there with the two girls downstairs. They started to say some stuff and I got mad again and threw my socks towards them. Cyrus and my supervisor directed me to leave. I left angry and upset to an off duty house. I think I cried out of anger for 2 hours until my supervisor came over and talked to me. I told him I want to give him my 2 weeks notice and could not handle it anymore. He told me that I would have to give him a 30 days notice but that would not be necessary. He said that things were handled at the cottage but that situations like these could come up in court and maybe I needed to go talk to someone. That was God's turnaround point for me. I did not like the idea I was an angry person (never really had to deal with it before) and I had to follow what he said. So I asked our pastor and he led me to my AMAZING, WONDERFUL, GODSENT mentor Jo. It took me a year and a half to allow God to work in my life and brought me to a whole other level spiritually.

One comment. That I would displease someone (something else that I am still learning on how to lean on God for) made me search out for God. Just like heavy discomfort in the abdominal after mistreating my body for a few years made me search out for God. In both cases, the results were good because my God knows me best and what it takes for me to just let go and trust in Him. Even better, I never went to court and my procedure had good results.

I challenge you to think and meditate on how much God knows what is best for you even in moments that are not pleasant. Think about what He might be telling you about yourself where you might have to allow Him to redirect you. The results are amazing: peace in knowing He knows what is best for you.    

His Way is Perfect

 I have not written in awhile on here and really have been wanting to. I think it is mostly because I want it to sound good but it kinda looses the point of allowing God work in me. So here I go. God has really been showing me alot lately how in control He is and how perfect His way is for me.

Alot went on this summer at work. I got to be a full time teacher for five one year olds. Wow alot of work but very rewarding. It is kinda funny how at the beginning of the summer I was fretting about what would happen with the unknowns of daycare life. One teacher was going on a six week mission trip...so maybe I would help in there. But they were needing a school age teacher...maybe I would be in there. But nope not at all what I thought would happen. They needed someone to be in the pre toddler classroom for the summer and put me in there. At the same time two new kids were transitioning in as I was. What was I going to do? They were constantly crying. Be still Kristina! In two weeks both were settling in very attached to me. I also was not a big fan of nap time. I had one kid wake up like only a hour after they went asleep and within 15 minutes would have all the others awake and it was only 1:05pm! Even if I made them fall asleep later then the others they would still be up and have everyone else up early. Kristina who is in control?! I soon realize ( will confess still struggle with) that God woke up the kids when He wanted to and how I responded was what I was in control of. There was days when I had to do things for the class and they woke up and I had to give them toys to play with until I was not busy. They got upset and I had to redirect them. They just got louder but you know what no one woke up! : ) lol Kristina who is in control again? ; ) As the end of the summer came, I began to start thinking what's next? It started to affect my attitude but then God showed me two verses.
Psalm 32:8-9 8 I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will guide you with My eye. 9 Do not be like the horse or like the mule, Which have no understanding, Which must be harnessed with bit and bridle, Else they will not come near you.
2 Samuel 22:31 31 As for God, His way is perfect; The word of the Lord is proven; He is a shield to all who trust in Him.

He knows and He will direct me! And it will be perfect and I need to know His promises and word is proven or flawless like niv version says and seek Him as my shield until He shows me. Today was my first day kidless and you know what Satan was attacking me hardcore. "if only you had your own kids!" mmmm... Kristina is your way perfect or is God's?

Holiness and Love

I am currently reading a book called Pursuit of Holiness by Jerry Bridges. It is a pretty good read so far. He plants in our mind a challenging and thought provoking way of looking at God's holiness and how we can pursue it in our own lives. Apparently I never have really thought about God's holiness before but it really has struck me as important in my life now.
So to start my journey on learning about God's holiness was to look up the verses that Bridges had used in his book. The first one was Leviticus 11:44

  "For I am the Lord your God. You shall therefore consecrate yourselves, and you shall be holy; for I am holy. Neither shall you defile yourselves with any creeping thing that creeps on the earth."

Now whats cool about having a study Bible is the notes at the bottom and they led me to Leviticus chapters 17-26. They called them the holy chapters. So if I wanted to learn more about God's holiness and what He expected I had to read these chapters. I will confess I was scared. I have not been a fan of this particular book of the Bible. It is just scary. But if my God changed this heart of mine from thinking the Bible was an emotionally dead book to reading and understanding it on a whole other level, then I know I could read these chapters in Leviticus. I have been and wow He has showed me alot.
For starters, God HATES when we allow other things in our lives other than Him such as I read in Leviticus 20:1-8
"Then the Lord spoke to Moses, saying, ² “Again, you shall say to the children of Israel: ‘Whoever of the children of Israel, or of the strangers who dwell in Israel, who gives any of his descendants to Molech, he shall surely be put to death. The people of the land shall stone him with stones. ³ I will set My face against that man, and will cut him off from his people, because he has given some of his descendants to Molech, to defile My sanctuary and profane My holy name. ⁴ And if the people of the land should in any way hide their eyes from the man, when he gives some of his descendants to Molech, and they do not kill him, ⁵ then I will set My face against that man and against his family; and I will cut him off from his people, and all who prostitute themselves with him to commit harlotry with Molech.
⁶ ‘And the person who turns to mediums and familiar spirits, to prostitute himself with them, I will set My face against that person and cut him off from his people. ⁷ Consecrate yourselves therefore, and be holy, for I am the Lord your God. ⁸ And you shall keep My statutes, and perform them: I am the Lord who sanctifies you."

 God compares us to prostitutes when we put other things more importantly before Him! Ok I dont know about you but people who give themselves away to just anyone makes me sad and I will confess, even disgusted. But I do it. I put other things before God and I am a prostitute. No wonder James calls us adulterers and adulteresses in James 4:4  when we choose the world or things of the world before God. 

"⁴ Adulterers and^[a] adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.  
  

But at the end of the chapter God gives Isreal 2 promises that we too can remember,
²⁴ But I have said to you, “You shall inherit their land, and I will give it to you to possess, a land flowing with milk and honey.” I am the Lord your God, who has separated you from the peoples... ²⁶ And you shall be holy to Me, for I the Lord am holy, and have separated you from the peoples, that you should be Mine."

You shall inherit the land and I will give it to you to possess is the first promise. I think it is awesome how God gives this land to them even if they still have to go and fight for it. Even then God comes alongside them and fights for them. For us, I know God has not given us land to possess but we do have our new life we have inherited from God who is our Father in Heaven. We have to live life being conquerors through Him battling the sin so we can have a life with peace and joy.
The second promise is that they were separated from the peoples which made them His. They were the Jewish nation with a chosen land given to them by a God who was ultimately and supremely holy. He gave them a life set apart from others that glorified Him. We too are the same way, We are chosen by God to be people set apart from this world. We need to be different living by His standards and grace. As He said we need to be holy as He is holy.
It really got me thinking, God is very serious about our sin. He does not tolerate it at all. He cant be around it. I mean He is serious when He says that if we have sin in our lives that He cannot hear us. I mean if you read onto the next chapter, He also gives Aaron and his sons strict guidelines to even go into His presence. They were even more special then Isreal with entirely different rules. It should be the same with us. How is our heart when we approach God? Do we have sin in our lives? Did we think something mean to someone else the day before or mistreated a total stranger at work? Anything that is not of God puts up this barrier between us and God where we should not approach Him until we confess our sins. Something I recently have started was reading Psalm 139: 23-24
 

²³ Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me, and know my anxieties;
²⁴ And see if there is any wicked way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting.

It is pretty amazing what He brings to mind when I sincerely approach Him as the holy God He is.

 Now what is even more cool on how God has been working in my life is how one of my pastors at my church have been talking about the attributes of God and mentioned God's holiness but also His love. Ever since I have been focusing on God's holiness, I have this fear that I am going to go legalistic or focus too much on the sin aspect and become graceless. I also think that I have not fully been aware of God's love for me. I think I have this human like love stuck in my head and think that God does the same thing. But He doesnt. My thoughts are how can one balance out His love and holiness and live a life conscious of both? I believe God is showing me things. So I am excited. But if there is anyone who would comment about finding that balance that would be cool. I am curious to see what He will show me.

The Be Still Verses

Starting in Exodus 14, the Parting of the Red Sea.
In v. 4 God tells Moses that He will harden Pharaoh's heart and let him come after the Isrealites. BUT that they will know that He is the Lord and will kick butt. I thing I thought of was "That's it! God does not tell Moses how He will do it but that He will. Moses had faith in knowing God would protect them with no questioning.".
In v.11 The Isrealites start complaining despite all the other faithfulness of God
In v. 13-14 Moses replies in a nice way, "Do not be afraid, stand still and the salvation of the Lord you will see...the Lord will fight for you."
In v.15, God tells Moses what he needs to do
In v.19-20, 24-25, 27-28 God did fight for them
 1) the pillar of cloud confused them and did not allow them to proceed on. It put out darkness towards the Egyptians and light towards the Isrealites
 2) While Pharaoh came after Isreal on dry ground, He took off their chariot wheels and put fear in the Egyptians
 3) God covered and overthrew the Egyptians in the Red Sea

Nehemiah 8
 The walls of the temple are rebuilt. They are restoring Jerusalem but now Ezra and Nehemiah and the Levites are going to restore the hearts of Isreal by reading the law of Moses.
In v. 2-3 Ezra reads to all people the law of Moses for 6 hours! They read and read until the children of Isreal understood it.
In v.6 Ezra starts out by praying to God for them to be blessed and the people said amen in agreeableness. They then lift their hands and put their faces to the ground.
In v. 8 the Levites were there to help them to understand
In v. 9-10 Ezra encourages them to make this day holy. They are of course by this time weeping because they were convicted. But Ezra kept on encouraging them saying this is a holy day, celebrate because God's word brings joy.
In v. 11-12 the Levites tell them to be still and go out and eat and drink and celebrate.
In v. 14 they come together again to read some more
In v. 15-17 this time they implemented what they read from Lev 23 which said to go out and build booths made out of assorted branches. This was to remind them how God provided for the children of Isreal while they were living in tents in the wilderness. They brought remembrance and glory to what God did for their people.

Psalm 37 ( one of my favorite psalm)
In v.3 Trust in Him by dwelling in the land and feeding on His faithfulness.
In v.5 Commit and trust in the Lord and He will bring it to pass
In v.7 rest and wait patiently in the Lord. Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way. REST and WAIT!
In v.8 cease from anger and forsake wrath, it only causes harm
In. v. 9 do evil= be cut off; wait on God= inherit the earth
In v.13 the Lord is laughing at the wicked because they think they are so hot but He knows when they will be put away
In v. 17 arms of the wicked will be broken but God with His strong right hand will uphold up the righteous.
In v. 30-31 the righteous speaks wisdom and justice because the word of God us is in his heart and God allows his steps to be steady
In v. 34 wait on the Lord, keep His ways= He will exalt the land and you will see the wicked cut off.
In v.39-40 salvation and strength in time of trouble is from the Lord. He helps, delivers, and saves them from the wicked BECAUSE THEY TRUST IN HIM

1 Thess 4
This chapter comes in 3 sections
Section 1 v1-8
In v. 1-2 Paul encourages and urges them to apply what was taught but also from God's word. So they could walk and please God
In v. 3 In one way is abstaining from sexual immorality
In v.4-6  1) on a personal level watch out for yourself not passion of lust and 2) not taking advantage of others sexually too.
(this means also what is in our minds with the movies or tv shows we watch or books that we read. EVERYTHING THAT GOES INTO YOUR MIND)
In v 7-8 God called us to holiness not uncleanness
Section 2  v9-12
In v.9 Paul encourages them by saying that they are good at loving others
In v. 10 but of course they need to increase in that more and more
In. v 11-12 they need to work on with loving others in 1) leading a quiet life or BEING STILL, 2) mind their own business, and 3) work with their hands. In result, 1) they walk properly, 2) lack nothing, and 3) that others who is not of  Christ will see you
Section 3 v13-18
In v 13-14 apparently people were telling this church that their love ones were not going to rise again when Christ comes back but Paul tells them straightforward that whoever believes on Jesus who died and rose again with rise with Jesus
In v. 15 as a matter of fact, they will rise first (darn them ; ) )
In v. 16-17 Paul describes the wonderful event of Jesus coming back, them first and then us and we will meet them in the air with Christ : ) : )
In v. 18 he concludes that we to comfort others with these words

1 Peter 3:1-6, 8-12
In v 1-2 wives ( or people who want to get married one day needs to prepare themselves now ) need to be submissive to their husbands even if they do not obey God because they might "win over" their husbands by their good conduct.
In v. 3-4 It is the heart of the woman that matter not the outside. It has to be a hidden person (that is why all the godly girls keep guys guessing), w/ incorruptible beauty (something that does not fade away) and wl a gentile and quiet spirit which is precious in the sight of God
In v.5-6 holy women from the OT who adorned themselves with God and allowing themselves to be submissive, respected their husbands. Sarah was an example of that.
In v 8 after talking to citizens of a country who also could be slaves, wives and husbands, Peter tells us TO BE ONE MIND, having compassion for one another, love as brothers, be tenderhearted and be courteous.
In v.9 dont return evil for evil or rude remarks to another rude remark (dont put others down) BUT bless other because we may inherit one too
In v 10 Peter quotes from Ps 34:12-16 which gives us the "secret" formula for one who loves life and who wants to see longer days 1) refrain from speaking evil or deceit, 2) turn from evil and do good, and 3) seek peace and pursue it. Then the Psalm gives us a nice reminder THAT GOD LOOKS OUT FOR THE RIGHTEOUS AND LISTENS TO THEIR PRAYERS, BUT TURNS HIS FACE FROM THE EVIL OR THE ONES WHO DONT FOLLOW WHAT WAS SAID ABOVE.

SOOO A RECAP!!
Exodus 14- Have faith in who and what God says He will do...He will fight for us!
Nehemiah 8- Read the Word! Apply it! It brings us joy and restores our soul!
Psalm 37- Trust, Rest, Wait on the Lord! He knows the outcome!
1 Thessalonians 4- To live a quiet or being still life, we need a pure mind, loving others, and encourage others that Christ is coming back
1 Peter 3:1-6, 8-12- In order to be the woman of a gentle and quiet spirit, we need God to be #1 and being one mind with others.  
  

God is Working!

It has been awesome to see how God is working in my life right now! I just got back from visiting my family. It was nice to relax and get away but really focus on those relationships with those I love and don't see often. My first weekend there I went to a ladies retreat with this amazing speaker. She is the founder of a 2 year old ministry called Zebras. The whole concept is that God made zebras to travel in herds. God made their stripes to combine together to make them like a huge animal and to scare their prey. It is the same with us as women who are Christians. We need to stick together, lifting each other up by focusing on who God is and His attributes. Her website is http://www.zebraminstires.com. You should check it out! But any who... God really used her to move in my life on a whole other level. She gave us some verses on being still and when I got back from the retreat still visiting my family, God began to beckon me to read those verses. At first I was not sure because I was working on something else for a devo I have to write but He kept saying read these verses. So I did and wow did He prepare me for so much. He is so faithful! A few days before I had to go back to PA, I began to be restless. I was not ready to go back. I realized how I busy I was at home. I work at a daycare at various random times. I help out my husband at his business. I clean my house and pay the bills. I know that seems like life but its overwhelming. I was just so tormented but I just kept hold of those verses and wow He is working. I have been praying to see what changes I need to do to prioritize my time better. But oh the strength, the peace He has given to me. There is something that God also showed me about being still from the ladies retreat. The speaker told us about refreshing ourselves after we have had an emotional time or heavily involved in ministry. She said after awana she would always go for a big bowl of cereal to just relax and regroup. But she encouraged us instead of eating something or in my case watching tv, we need to draw near to God. For me, it made me see the importance of going to Him at every moment I could during the day instead of just once in the morning when I wake up. I have spiritual breaks breaks at work I could take advantage of. I have also made the commitment to get into His word when I get off work at six. It has been amazing to see how He is working. I encourage you guys to be still and get that "big bowl of cereal". : )

God's Faithfulness and Eternity part 2

Lately I have been up and down in my emotions, worrying about the things of this world and really allowing it to alter my mood. It is frustrating in a way because I dont like being this way. I become ineffective for God and there is little joy. But what is so cool is that God is SO FAITHFUL TO ME. I wish I could hold onto that better in my mind and thought process but hey it is about progress not perfection (Elizabeth Elliot) Everytime I seek His face, He helps me and brings peace even if I continuously keep coming back day after day. For instance, all weekend was rough and Monday came around with a new week of work. It was rough. I did not sleep well the night before and I was struggling with my mindset. I got ready and did my routine as usual and went to my husband's business to help him open. It was hard but all of a sudden BAM God's peace with constant prayer came upon me. Work at the daycare went well and after work, my husband surprised me to take me out for coffee just to spend time with me. We also were celebrating because we now officially owe our trailer. It was a good day. I could not even think about how I was that morning. God is faithful even now when I am still struggling.
Another thing on how God is faithful is how eternity keeps coming up. I read more of my book called Desire by John Eldredge and he was talking about groaning. We groan for the things that are not seen and sometimes we dont allow it. As humans, we hate pain but as he stated, pain brings acknowledgement of who God is in our lives. He uses the example of a lady who wanted to relax after being a speaker of a huge conference. She goes antique shopping. The first store she goes into is this real expensive one. She walks in sad and astounded by the prices. But then something caught her eye in the corner of the store. It was this beautiful stain glass window. She longed for it but then saw the price of 8000 dollars. She became angry and sad but then had a thought. She will be getting one just like that in heaven in her mansion God is building for her now. She walked away happy. So I started to think how can life around me that affects me bring eternity to mind. I started to think about Bob our guinea and his crazy squawking. Sometimes I also listen to the other birds that sometimes sound like Bob but isnt. They also sound more pretty then he does ; ) But how does that remind me of heaven? And then God brought a thought into my head. They are like little angels here are earth singing to their creator. It almost made me cry. God is faithful even in the small things