Here's another verse I found for my last blog
The Lord looks from heaven;
He sees all the sons of men.
14 From the place of His dwelling He looks
On all the inhabitants of the earth;
15 He fashions their hearts individually;
He considers all their works. Ps 33:13-14
He looks down from heaven and fashions my heart individually and considers all my works. HUGE! Pray I can trust in that great power today
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Friday, April 19, 2013
Who I am
This blog is
being written at a spurt of a moment...I am in one of those pondering moods...
I dont do this very often : )
I have
always been known as the serious one. I remember when I was younger, as far
back as 7th grade. I never was real goofy or did outlandish things. I think the
"craziest" thing I have ever done was driving in circles in a church
parking lot with my friends after youth group back in high school. Yeah I know
totally rebellious : P I even remember several times when I was with someone
and they were doing something that made me feel uncomfortable, I would always
tend to withdraw. There has always been one person who are more outgoing and
bubbly than I. I know it use to brother me alot because everyone would want to
be around that person even though they did like me. It is always more fun to be
around someone who is more lively than I am.
Now as I
have matured and almost out of the twenties, I joke around but is serious about
when one gets older you really begin to not care at all what others think of
you when you are just having fun. This is coming out of someone who owns 43
gnomes and is very proud of it : ) I mean it is kinda freeing to be able to
have fun and not be insecure. But my personality is still the same. Matured but
the same. I am the serious one. I get passionate about things that people dont
seem to think are that big of a deal. And there is still many people who are
more bubbly than I am. I have to say I still struggle with it but I do realize
and I think (the reason for this blog) that I am ok with it.
It has been
something that God has been putting on my heart alot lately. Besides being
serious, I also am emotional. I wear my emotions on my sleeve as the saying
goes. Sometimes I feel like that is a burdened or annoyance too. But like I
said God has been changing my heart little by little about that. It always
takes me back to Psalms 139:13-18
For You formed my inward parts;
You covered
me in my mother’s womb.
I will praise You, for I am fearfully and
wonderfully made;[b]
Marvelous
are Your works,
And that my
soul knows very well.
My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was
made in secret,
And
skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
Your eyes saw my substance, being yet
unformed.
And in Your
book they all were written,
The days
fashioned for me,
When as yet
there were none of them.
How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O
God!
How great is
the sum of them!
If I should count them, they would be more in
number than the sand;
When I
awake, I am still with You.
The parts
that I are highlighted are what comes to mind. I am fearfully and wonderfully
made! In His book all my days are written down. How precious are God's thoughts
about me! There is tons of them, more in number than the sand!
Isaiah 64:8
But now, O Lord,
You are our
Father;
We are the
clay, and You our potter;
And all we
are the work of Your hand
I should not
question the way I am. I am the work of my Creator's hand! He created me for
ME! I am more emotional than others. I am more serious than others. Not
everyone relates to the bubbly person. There always is a need for balance.
Please pray for me as I go through this time of searching who God has made
me.
Sunday, March 17, 2013
My Mind
Before I get into what I want to write about, first and foremost God is faithful as always. Today, at church my pastor was talking about Abram in Chapter 15 going through a hard and dark time of struggling on trusting God even when he was just accounted for righteousness by God. But God then told Abram that He was the Lord and was going to be with him and to know that certainty even when things go wrong for his descendants. Then, we went back at night and pastor was in Genesis 29, the same chapter I was encouraged in from my blog last month
http://myjourneyinchristinme.blogspot.com/2013/02/feeling-like-jacob.html
It is just awesome to know that though I want to feel unsettle, I still linger towards having peace. He continues to show me He is faithful and I just need to take it as a day by day process as He continues to mold me. But...
I have been struggling this past week with my thoughts and mind. It is the whole baby thing again, struggling to understand when it is the "right" time and if there is any "right" time by my standards. But all of this starts with my mind. What I allow in my mind consumes me. If it is negativity, I will be negative. If it is discontentment or coveting, I will be discontent and coveting what others have. I cant be a living sacrifice for God if I dont renew my mind every moment of the day. I need to remain watchful because like 1 Peter 5:8-11 says,
"Be sober, be vigilant; because[c] your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. 9 Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world. 10 But may[d] the God of all grace, who called us[e] to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you. 11 To Him be the glory and the dominion forever and ever. Amen"
Amen is right : ) I also need to to remember that I am not fighting the things of this world like wishing I was like everyone on Facebook having babies or my husband when I feel like we are not on the same page but satan himself who does not want me to trust God completely with His perfect time and will.
It all starts with with my mind. Here is some scriptures I found a few weeks ago.
Is 26:3
You will keep him in perfect peace,
Whose mind is stayed on You,
Because he trusts in You.
Luke 12:29-31
“And do not seek what you should eat or what you should drink, nor have an anxious mind. 30 For all these things the nations of the world seek after, and your Father knows that you need these things. 31 But seek the kingdom of God, and all these things[a] shall be added to you.
Romans 7:21-25
I find then a law, that evil is present with me, the one who wills to do good. 22 For I delight in the law of God according to the inward man. 23 But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. 24 O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? 25 I thank God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!
So then, with the mind I myself serve the law of God, but with the flesh the law of sin.
Romans 8:5-8
For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. 6 For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. 7 Because the carnal mind is enmity against God; for it is not subject to the law of God, nor indeed can be. 8 So then, those who are in the flesh cannot please God.
2 Cor 10:3-5
For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. 4 For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, 5 casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ,
Romans 12:1-2
I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. 2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.
http://myjourneyinchristinme.blogspot.com/2013/02/feeling-like-jacob.html
It is just awesome to know that though I want to feel unsettle, I still linger towards having peace. He continues to show me He is faithful and I just need to take it as a day by day process as He continues to mold me. But...
I have been struggling this past week with my thoughts and mind. It is the whole baby thing again, struggling to understand when it is the "right" time and if there is any "right" time by my standards. But all of this starts with my mind. What I allow in my mind consumes me. If it is negativity, I will be negative. If it is discontentment or coveting, I will be discontent and coveting what others have. I cant be a living sacrifice for God if I dont renew my mind every moment of the day. I need to remain watchful because like 1 Peter 5:8-11 says,
"Be sober, be vigilant; because[c] your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. 9 Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world. 10 But may[d] the God of all grace, who called us[e] to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you. 11 To Him be the glory and the dominion forever and ever. Amen"
Amen is right : ) I also need to to remember that I am not fighting the things of this world like wishing I was like everyone on Facebook having babies or my husband when I feel like we are not on the same page but satan himself who does not want me to trust God completely with His perfect time and will.
It all starts with with my mind. Here is some scriptures I found a few weeks ago.
Is 26:3
You will keep him in perfect peace,
Whose mind is stayed on You,
Because he trusts in You.
Luke 12:29-31
“And do not seek what you should eat or what you should drink, nor have an anxious mind. 30 For all these things the nations of the world seek after, and your Father knows that you need these things. 31 But seek the kingdom of God, and all these things[a] shall be added to you.
Romans 7:21-25
I find then a law, that evil is present with me, the one who wills to do good. 22 For I delight in the law of God according to the inward man. 23 But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. 24 O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? 25 I thank God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!
So then, with the mind I myself serve the law of God, but with the flesh the law of sin.
Romans 8:5-8
For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. 6 For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. 7 Because the carnal mind is enmity against God; for it is not subject to the law of God, nor indeed can be. 8 So then, those who are in the flesh cannot please God.
2 Cor 10:3-5
For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. 4 For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, 5 casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ,
Romans 12:1-2
I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. 2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.
Sunday, February 10, 2013
Feeling like Jacob
Lately, I have been feeling overwhelming blessed by God. His promises are real and He is so faithful.
Psalm 32:8-9
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will guide you with My eye.
Do not be like the horse or like the mule,
Which have no understanding,
Which must be harnessed with bit and bridle,
Else they will not come near you.
John 16:33
These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will[a] have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”
2 Samuel 22:31
As for God, His way is perfect;
The word of the Lord is proven;
He is a shield to all who trust in Him.
All of these are promises from God and He has shown me that He keep these promises in situations in my life just like He did with Jacob.
In Genesis 27 verse 41, it says that Esau hated Jacob because their father blessed Jacob instead of him. After Esau was done mourning for his father, he was going to kill Jacob. Rebekah of course overhears this and tells Jacob to flee to Laban, her brother and not to come back until his brother's anger has subsided. She also told him to find myself a wife among their family.
In Chapter 28, Jacob is on his way fleeing from his brother and settles down for the night between Beersheba and Haran. He falls asleep and as we all know, he has a dream of angels going up and down a staircase from heaven. Then he hears God's voice telling him the same promise that He kept with his grandfather Abraham and father Isaac. This is the land I have given to you and your descendants will multiply and scatter everywhere. But the verse I that was the best one was verse 15
Behold, I am with you and will keep you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land; for I will not leave you until I have done what I have spoken to you.”
I am with you and keep you wherever you go. Jacob woke up energized and made an oath to God to saying he will keep the promise God has made with him and his family.
In the next chapter, Jacob continues on his journey and comes to some shepherds and their sheep. He asks where they are from and if they knew of Laban. They responded they were from Haran and did know of Laban. As he was talking, Rachel, Laban's daughter came up with her father's sheep. Jacob waters her sheep for her. He approaches her and kisses her and weeps. He tells her that he is her father's relative and that Rebekah's son.
Imagine that! Jacob is fleeing for his life away from his family, probably feeling sad and alone. Then God refreshes Jacob on His promise to him promising the land and multiplied descendants. He goes on in faith and runs into his relatives and just wept. It was God continuing to be faithful to Jacob where it just left him humbled and thankful for his faithful covenant keeping God.
That is how I feel. Humbled and thankful for God's promises as He continues to work in my life. As most of you know, I have long to have a baby but God has showed me that it is not His timing right now and that He is directing me where He wants me to go. Recently, Cyrus and I have been talking about kids and making tentative plans. Now I am not pregnant or not trying right now but our conversations were blessings from God, telling me Kristina, I know your heart and my perfect plan for you. Just continue to trust and lean on my promises and where I direct you where you need to go. I am your shield who you can trust in. Dont worry about the things or circumstances in your life that you cant control because I have overcome the world. So thankful : )
Psalm 32:8-9
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will guide you with My eye.
Do not be like the horse or like the mule,
Which have no understanding,
Which must be harnessed with bit and bridle,
Else they will not come near you.
John 16:33
These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will[a] have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”
2 Samuel 22:31
As for God, His way is perfect;
The word of the Lord is proven;
He is a shield to all who trust in Him.
All of these are promises from God and He has shown me that He keep these promises in situations in my life just like He did with Jacob.
In Genesis 27 verse 41, it says that Esau hated Jacob because their father blessed Jacob instead of him. After Esau was done mourning for his father, he was going to kill Jacob. Rebekah of course overhears this and tells Jacob to flee to Laban, her brother and not to come back until his brother's anger has subsided. She also told him to find myself a wife among their family.
In Chapter 28, Jacob is on his way fleeing from his brother and settles down for the night between Beersheba and Haran. He falls asleep and as we all know, he has a dream of angels going up and down a staircase from heaven. Then he hears God's voice telling him the same promise that He kept with his grandfather Abraham and father Isaac. This is the land I have given to you and your descendants will multiply and scatter everywhere. But the verse I that was the best one was verse 15
Behold, I am with you and will keep you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land; for I will not leave you until I have done what I have spoken to you.”
I am with you and keep you wherever you go. Jacob woke up energized and made an oath to God to saying he will keep the promise God has made with him and his family.
In the next chapter, Jacob continues on his journey and comes to some shepherds and their sheep. He asks where they are from and if they knew of Laban. They responded they were from Haran and did know of Laban. As he was talking, Rachel, Laban's daughter came up with her father's sheep. Jacob waters her sheep for her. He approaches her and kisses her and weeps. He tells her that he is her father's relative and that Rebekah's son.
Imagine that! Jacob is fleeing for his life away from his family, probably feeling sad and alone. Then God refreshes Jacob on His promise to him promising the land and multiplied descendants. He goes on in faith and runs into his relatives and just wept. It was God continuing to be faithful to Jacob where it just left him humbled and thankful for his faithful covenant keeping God.
That is how I feel. Humbled and thankful for God's promises as He continues to work in my life. As most of you know, I have long to have a baby but God has showed me that it is not His timing right now and that He is directing me where He wants me to go. Recently, Cyrus and I have been talking about kids and making tentative plans. Now I am not pregnant or not trying right now but our conversations were blessings from God, telling me Kristina, I know your heart and my perfect plan for you. Just continue to trust and lean on my promises and where I direct you where you need to go. I am your shield who you can trust in. Dont worry about the things or circumstances in your life that you cant control because I have overcome the world. So thankful : )
Thursday, January 3, 2013
"What", "How" and "Why": my present circumstances in the crazy world
Lately, I have been researching and informing myself on our current state here in the U.S with the fiscal cliff, the gun control issue, just how this all will affect us. I get so wrapped up in it where I am torn. I know as a Christian Who is in control and how I need to avoid disputes which politics only produce, but what is my role as a Christian in politics? I want to do more. I want to stay informed. My world as I know it is falling apart but God is in control.
In my informing myself, I ran into this video on The Blaze website. Glenn Beck says that there are 2 issues currently invading the media and news: the fiscal cliff and Sandy Hook with the gun control. He says the media is missing the "why" the why it is happening. Beck then shows this diagram of 3 circles inside each other like a target. The outer circle is "what" as in what happened, the middle circle is "how" as in how did it happen, and "why" as in why did it happen. For example, for Sandy Hook the "what" is a 20 year old young man goes in and kills innocent kids. The "how" is he went into the school with a firearm he got from his mom. The media says the "why" is because there is no gun control. But Glenn Beck says the "why" is because of the young man came from a broken family and surrounded himself with this world's immoral values. Beck also has a target for "what", "how" and "why" he started his tv/radio program. He does it through books, radio, tv, etc. The "how" is through good hardworking people and the "why" is because of liberty, self empowerment, God, personal responsibility, the constitution, freedom of conscience. That is the"why" he has started this tv channel. But it got me thinking what is my "what", "how", and "why" in my present situation? My "what" is what roles I have in this present time in my life such as being a wife, a employee at a daycare, a leader in youth group, a daughter, a daughter in law, a sister, and a friend. And "how" do I do this? I read God's word, I pray, I build relationships with friends and family. But the "why" is what gets me. "Why" do I read God's word? "Why" do I pray? "Why" do I build relationships? This is what my goal is, to figure out my "why". Or better yet, remain BEING STILL until God guides and shows me as I know He promises me. Will it be to share with others WHO is ultimately in control instead of fretting over the current issues that face us? Will it be becoming more intentional in my conversations with people? Will it be allowing God to work through me through His grace and strength? I really dont know. But all this really has me thinking. I hope I challenged u to think outside your box and look at what is really going on.
http://www.video.theblaze.com/media/video.jsp?content_id=25542499&topic_id=24584158&tcid=vpp_copy_25542499&v=3
In my informing myself, I ran into this video on The Blaze website. Glenn Beck says that there are 2 issues currently invading the media and news: the fiscal cliff and Sandy Hook with the gun control. He says the media is missing the "why" the why it is happening. Beck then shows this diagram of 3 circles inside each other like a target. The outer circle is "what" as in what happened, the middle circle is "how" as in how did it happen, and "why" as in why did it happen. For example, for Sandy Hook the "what" is a 20 year old young man goes in and kills innocent kids. The "how" is he went into the school with a firearm he got from his mom. The media says the "why" is because there is no gun control. But Glenn Beck says the "why" is because of the young man came from a broken family and surrounded himself with this world's immoral values. Beck also has a target for "what", "how" and "why" he started his tv/radio program. He does it through books, radio, tv, etc. The "how" is through good hardworking people and the "why" is because of liberty, self empowerment, God, personal responsibility, the constitution, freedom of conscience. That is the"why" he has started this tv channel. But it got me thinking what is my "what", "how", and "why" in my present situation? My "what" is what roles I have in this present time in my life such as being a wife, a employee at a daycare, a leader in youth group, a daughter, a daughter in law, a sister, and a friend. And "how" do I do this? I read God's word, I pray, I build relationships with friends and family. But the "why" is what gets me. "Why" do I read God's word? "Why" do I pray? "Why" do I build relationships? This is what my goal is, to figure out my "why". Or better yet, remain BEING STILL until God guides and shows me as I know He promises me. Will it be to share with others WHO is ultimately in control instead of fretting over the current issues that face us? Will it be becoming more intentional in my conversations with people? Will it be allowing God to work through me through His grace and strength? I really dont know. But all this really has me thinking. I hope I challenged u to think outside your box and look at what is really going on.
http://www.video.theblaze.com/media/video.jsp?content_id=25542499&topic_id=24584158&tcid=vpp_copy_25542499&v=3
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Resolutions part 2
For this next year, I have started to pray for a year of growth. Alot of changes are at hand. Cyrus and I might have a building opportunity for the business which means alot of planning and time put into it. Like I said before, there are also some things that might happen at work which will determine what my role in that will be. Obama, as we all know, was re-elected (yes I know old news) which comes with TONS of unknown changes that really might affect us for the worse. BUT MY GOD IS IN CONTROL. HIS GRACE AND SOVEREIGNTY WILL OUT SMART ANY CHANGE THAT IS AT HAND OR AS MY PASTOR SAYS, "I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS! I HAVE READ THE END OF THE BOOK". So my new resolution for growth this year will be listening to the small and quiet voice within me wanting me to do things that are unpleasant or make me get out of my comfort zone. Yes thats broad but let me explain.
Changes! Changes! Changes! Changes! They are scary and unsettling especially the ones that are not in our personal lives like the government and taxes and fees and blah blah blah...but the reality is, it has to happen sooner or later. History has proven that to us. I got Cyrus Agenda 21 by Glenn Beck (http://www.glennbeck.com/agenda21/) for Christmas on CD. Sigh...it is some deep stuff but to be honest, as a Christian I struggle with Glenn Beck. I think alot of the things he says are probably right about our government but I also dont like how he presents it. He is a mormon as we know and he brings up God and faith and truth all the time. I dont like it. If Glenn Beck truly believed in God, He would put his faith and hope into Him not trying fight against this or dislike that about Obama and the government. But like I said I think he has some good points politically and I think we need to be aware of those things and be prepared spiritually not the way he says to. I hope that makes sense. But this book really has got me thinking what AM I DOING SPIRITUALLY TO PREPARE MYSELF AND OTHERS FOR THE HARD TIMES THAT ARE TO COME? My first thought that I have been mauling over is how much scripture do I know if they took my Bible away from me. What would I have to offer to share with others in time of hopelessness and no peace? But then I had another thought WHERE IS MY/OUR URGENCY TO TELL OTHERS ABOUT CHRIST NOW? Paul was obsessed about telling others about the Gospel. He lived and breathed the Gospel. DO I live and breath the Gospel? I am around non Christians kids and parents every day at the daycare. Do I share with them Jesus and what He did? No I dont.
Another thing I have been mauling over is being motivated by the grace of God to do things that I dont like to do. I can give you many times the past week where I felt like I should have done something to go the extra mile in helping someone. But I did not do it. I really believe that this is something that I need to do in order to die to myself and live completely for God. As you can tell, I have put some thought in to this but I believe these thoughts are still in their beginning stages. I need to pray over this more. But I really believe this is what God wants me to have for a resolution.
Changes! Changes! Changes! Changes! They are scary and unsettling especially the ones that are not in our personal lives like the government and taxes and fees and blah blah blah...but the reality is, it has to happen sooner or later. History has proven that to us. I got Cyrus Agenda 21 by Glenn Beck (http://www.glennbeck.com/agenda21/) for Christmas on CD. Sigh...it is some deep stuff but to be honest, as a Christian I struggle with Glenn Beck. I think alot of the things he says are probably right about our government but I also dont like how he presents it. He is a mormon as we know and he brings up God and faith and truth all the time. I dont like it. If Glenn Beck truly believed in God, He would put his faith and hope into Him not trying fight against this or dislike that about Obama and the government. But like I said I think he has some good points politically and I think we need to be aware of those things and be prepared spiritually not the way he says to. I hope that makes sense. But this book really has got me thinking what AM I DOING SPIRITUALLY TO PREPARE MYSELF AND OTHERS FOR THE HARD TIMES THAT ARE TO COME? My first thought that I have been mauling over is how much scripture do I know if they took my Bible away from me. What would I have to offer to share with others in time of hopelessness and no peace? But then I had another thought WHERE IS MY/OUR URGENCY TO TELL OTHERS ABOUT CHRIST NOW? Paul was obsessed about telling others about the Gospel. He lived and breathed the Gospel. DO I live and breath the Gospel? I am around non Christians kids and parents every day at the daycare. Do I share with them Jesus and what He did? No I dont.
Another thing I have been mauling over is being motivated by the grace of God to do things that I dont like to do. I can give you many times the past week where I felt like I should have done something to go the extra mile in helping someone. But I did not do it. I really believe that this is something that I need to do in order to die to myself and live completely for God. As you can tell, I have put some thought in to this but I believe these thoughts are still in their beginning stages. I need to pray over this more. But I really believe this is what God wants me to have for a resolution.
Resolutions part one
It has been AMAZING to see how God has worked in my life this past year. At the beginning of the year, I made a resolution to be more content in where God has me right now in this part of my life (http://myjourneyinchristinme.blogspot.com/2012/01/new-year-resolution.html). He has made be more content (not perfect at it though : ) ) in 5 areas, starting at 5 and counting down, this past year that I will share with you.
5) My Job
At the beginning of this year, my schedule was switched from morning shift to the afternoon/closing shift. It was nice to get more sleep and be less zombie like all the time. I also got to experience being a teacher for 5 one year olds. From that experience, I have come to enjoy that age. They are no longer little babies but they are not in the terrible twos yet. The "perfect" age. I also have been able to build a accountability with some of the other ladies about not gossiping with each other about how things are run or things that we simply just don't like. For this next year, some things are changing and I am going to have to learn what my role in that is going to be and probably will grow more in that.
4) Living here in Pa
I was not overly happy about being here in Pa. Just another place to get use to. Also, I had to get to know my in laws who are very different from my own family. God made me see the importance of their relationship and convicted me of spending more time with them. WOW what a blessing He has given to me. He has made me content in my relationship with my in laws who I now appreciate alot and know they care for me and sometimes they spoil me : ) But now there is my grandparents in law I need to get to know more.
3) The evil "M" word (Money) : )
I have always been a penny pincher. I hardly spend extra money for myself unless it is a coffee drink at Dunkin Donuts or better yet Starbucks : ) But living paycheck to paycheck and owning your own business is sometimes unsettling. But God has really reminded me of where my money, hours at work, or people who come to the trailer come from. They come from Him. It is all in His hands. Like it says in that O so familiar passage of Matthew 6, if he takes care of the birds by having them travel south for the winter or the beautiful flowers that currently live underground in my mother-in-laws garden ready whenever it is spring to come back up, then He will take care of me. NOW DONT GET ME WRONG HERE. I AM NO WHERE PERFECT WITH MONEY but I do know that He will provide even when it is rough or when I doubt Him. Even now with possible changes in the business or my medical bill from my colonoscopy that seems to haunt me, I have to keep leaning on the promises He will take care of us.
2) Babies
This one is very close to number 1 because I struggle off and on randomly so much with this one and where God has taken me with it is AMAZING. He has shown to me that He is the one who is faithful and very much in control with when I will be able to have a baby. For pete's sake, I could get pregnant right now on birth control. That is how in control He is. One verse I have claimed as my own alot is in 2 Samuel 22:31
As for God, His way is perfect;
The word of the Lord is proven;
He is a shield to all who trust in Him.
Another thing I hold onto is the story when I was born. My mom tells me this all the time. My mom and dad got married when they were 18 and 19 but had me when they were almost 24 and 25. Mom tells me all the time that if she had me when she was younger that I would be entirely different child. What is even cooler is that 2 years later my parents became Christians. God is faithful and all knowing and knows the perfect time to have kids. I cannot say it enough. He is faithful and He has made me very content in that. Also, when I think about other people having kids when they were only married for 2 years or even in their first year of marriage, I am thankful. They cant say that they worked in a group home and took care of tons of teenagers. They cant say they saw 8 capitols. They cant say they have 32 amazing gnomes and 2 particularly amazing gnomes like Fred and Travel. God has given that to me at this time of my life as much as He has given those couples babies at their times of their lives. He knows best.
1) His Grace
When I just typed those words onto the computer screen, it left me speechless for a few moments. What God's Grace has shown to me is huge. I am reading a book currently called Transforming Grace by Jerry Bridges (http://www.amazon.com/Transforming-Grace-Living-Confidently-Unfailing/dp/1600063039). God has used this book to help me see how His grace works in us. Bridges uses Paul as an example alot throughout the book. The whole idea that Paul use to kill Christians and be entirely opposed of the concept of Jesus Christ but then graciously was changed forever to tell gentiles about that same God is huge. But grace does not stop at salvation. It continues on in our lives through the Holy Spirit through the good and the bad. We cannot do anything apart from the grace of God. Bridges says even when we try to do good, there is some ounce of impurity in it. We NEED the grace of God in order to live the way we need to as Christians. I talked to my pastor a little more about grace and he said it was all our perception of God's grace in our lives. We can do NOTHING apart from the grace of God. We are not even in the equation when it comes to us doing things for God or even when we try to live the good Christian life. When I put my focus on myself trying to do good, I am going to fail and kick myself. He led me to Romans 8 where there is no condemnation in Christ. I then have lost the sight of His grace. My focus needs to be what Christ has done on the cross and what He is capable to do in me because of it. I am still learning as you can tell but oh what AMAZING GRACE.
Like I said before though, I am not perfect in these areas, but because I am learning that my God is instructing and teaching me in the way I should go and that I should not be like a stubborn mule or a horse with a bit and bridle fighting Him (Psalm 32: 8-9) but allow Him to lead me to His perfect way for me. In that I am content.
5) My Job
At the beginning of this year, my schedule was switched from morning shift to the afternoon/closing shift. It was nice to get more sleep and be less zombie like all the time. I also got to experience being a teacher for 5 one year olds. From that experience, I have come to enjoy that age. They are no longer little babies but they are not in the terrible twos yet. The "perfect" age. I also have been able to build a accountability with some of the other ladies about not gossiping with each other about how things are run or things that we simply just don't like. For this next year, some things are changing and I am going to have to learn what my role in that is going to be and probably will grow more in that.
4) Living here in Pa
I was not overly happy about being here in Pa. Just another place to get use to. Also, I had to get to know my in laws who are very different from my own family. God made me see the importance of their relationship and convicted me of spending more time with them. WOW what a blessing He has given to me. He has made me content in my relationship with my in laws who I now appreciate alot and know they care for me and sometimes they spoil me : ) But now there is my grandparents in law I need to get to know more.
3) The evil "M" word (Money) : )
I have always been a penny pincher. I hardly spend extra money for myself unless it is a coffee drink at Dunkin Donuts or better yet Starbucks : ) But living paycheck to paycheck and owning your own business is sometimes unsettling. But God has really reminded me of where my money, hours at work, or people who come to the trailer come from. They come from Him. It is all in His hands. Like it says in that O so familiar passage of Matthew 6, if he takes care of the birds by having them travel south for the winter or the beautiful flowers that currently live underground in my mother-in-laws garden ready whenever it is spring to come back up, then He will take care of me. NOW DONT GET ME WRONG HERE. I AM NO WHERE PERFECT WITH MONEY but I do know that He will provide even when it is rough or when I doubt Him. Even now with possible changes in the business or my medical bill from my colonoscopy that seems to haunt me, I have to keep leaning on the promises He will take care of us.
2) Babies
This one is very close to number 1 because I struggle off and on randomly so much with this one and where God has taken me with it is AMAZING. He has shown to me that He is the one who is faithful and very much in control with when I will be able to have a baby. For pete's sake, I could get pregnant right now on birth control. That is how in control He is. One verse I have claimed as my own alot is in 2 Samuel 22:31
As for God, His way is perfect;
The word of the Lord is proven;
He is a shield to all who trust in Him.
Another thing I hold onto is the story when I was born. My mom tells me this all the time. My mom and dad got married when they were 18 and 19 but had me when they were almost 24 and 25. Mom tells me all the time that if she had me when she was younger that I would be entirely different child. What is even cooler is that 2 years later my parents became Christians. God is faithful and all knowing and knows the perfect time to have kids. I cannot say it enough. He is faithful and He has made me very content in that. Also, when I think about other people having kids when they were only married for 2 years or even in their first year of marriage, I am thankful. They cant say that they worked in a group home and took care of tons of teenagers. They cant say they saw 8 capitols. They cant say they have 32 amazing gnomes and 2 particularly amazing gnomes like Fred and Travel. God has given that to me at this time of my life as much as He has given those couples babies at their times of their lives. He knows best.
1) His Grace
When I just typed those words onto the computer screen, it left me speechless for a few moments. What God's Grace has shown to me is huge. I am reading a book currently called Transforming Grace by Jerry Bridges (http://www.amazon.com/Transforming-Grace-Living-Confidently-Unfailing/dp/1600063039). God has used this book to help me see how His grace works in us. Bridges uses Paul as an example alot throughout the book. The whole idea that Paul use to kill Christians and be entirely opposed of the concept of Jesus Christ but then graciously was changed forever to tell gentiles about that same God is huge. But grace does not stop at salvation. It continues on in our lives through the Holy Spirit through the good and the bad. We cannot do anything apart from the grace of God. Bridges says even when we try to do good, there is some ounce of impurity in it. We NEED the grace of God in order to live the way we need to as Christians. I talked to my pastor a little more about grace and he said it was all our perception of God's grace in our lives. We can do NOTHING apart from the grace of God. We are not even in the equation when it comes to us doing things for God or even when we try to live the good Christian life. When I put my focus on myself trying to do good, I am going to fail and kick myself. He led me to Romans 8 where there is no condemnation in Christ. I then have lost the sight of His grace. My focus needs to be what Christ has done on the cross and what He is capable to do in me because of it. I am still learning as you can tell but oh what AMAZING GRACE.
Like I said before though, I am not perfect in these areas, but because I am learning that my God is instructing and teaching me in the way I should go and that I should not be like a stubborn mule or a horse with a bit and bridle fighting Him (Psalm 32: 8-9) but allow Him to lead me to His perfect way for me. In that I am content.
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