Theme Thursday

 

I consider myself as an person who can get easily angry. I discovered this when I worked at a group home in Nebraska. I was adjusting to married life, working with my husband, and dealing with teens that came from dysfunctional homes. We lived at the girls cottage for our first three days and then at the boys cottage for the last three days of our six day shift. It was our last night at the girls cottage before the full time staff would come back on. I was tired and emotionally drained, ready for them to return. We were working with the girls on their charts where we keep track of their progress in the cottage. If they needed to work on something, we would tell them what they did wrong and give them a consequence. It was now that time to work on those consequences. I really don't remember now what exactly this one girl disagreed with me on but it ended up where she gave me attitude about it and I responded back in anger. Her sister, who also lived in the cottage, defended her and they both started to attack me. I got mad at them both and the next thing I remember was leaving the cottage in my socks fuming. The boys and their staff were outside where one of the staff came to see what was brothering me. It ended up where our supervisor came over to the cottage to talk to the girls and I both. That did not end well either where all parties got defensive and I ended up throwing my socks at their direction and running off to the off duty house. There I stayed for two hours kicking a hole in the wall and crying none stop in the bathtub. My supervisor came over after sometime and I kept on saying that I was giving my two week notice. He told me that was not necessary but I needed to get help because situations like these come up in court. And that was the beginning of my journey as an angry person.

One and half years later after finding a mentor and having one more episode of uncontrollable anger, God got ahold of me. My mentor taught me that God works intimately in every single detail of my life when I choose to draw near to Him and read and meditate on His word. He also showed me that anger is only a result from another emotion I was feeling. For example, instead of saying I am angry when so and so yelled at me because I took away their straighter, I would say I feel attacked because of how they responded to me. It really helped me to reevaluate why I got angry. But once I let go of the hurt and pain that these kids sometimes made me feel and saw them as people who were put into my life by God to work out His perfect purpose and way, I then experienced His grace and was able to show grace in return.   

Now as a mom to my little goober, I can see sometimes that anger flares up and than I get frustrated with myself for allowing myself to get to that point. I realize though that I am forgetting about grace. I ask myself these questions
   "What am I holding onto at this moment? Pride? Fear? Lost of control? Guilt? Unreasonable
    expectations?"
   "What should I be holding onto instead? The Cross? Is this worth causing problems over? Does she
    even get what I am saying? Has she been outside for awhile?"
   "What thoughts I am feeding myself? I am a lousy parent. I don't go the extra mile. I am being too
    lazy."
   "What thoughts should I be feeding myself? God gives new mercies each morning. Goober is a gift
    from God specifically for me. God is the God of Psalm 139. He knows every single one of
    her days. God delights in who I am as her mom and as she is as my daughter.

Lately I have been keeping up with a Facebook group called No. More. Angry MOB which has been a Huge encouragement to me. One of the leaders constantly keeps reminding us of the promises we have as moms in God's word.

   Cast your care upon Him for He cares for you 1 Peter 5:7

   Trust in the Lord and do good. Dwell in the land and feed on His faithfulness. Psalm 37:3

   If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God who gives to all liberally and without reproach and
    it will be given to him. James 1:5   

I also have been getting emails from Kirk Martin who is the founder of Celebrate Calm. He too has given good advice concerning anger. The basis of his teachings is being able to first and foremost control yourself. One cannot have a better relationship with their kids until they realize that they can only control themselves first. In return a kid can see the self-control mom or dad shows and will be willing to be able to listen better. He is also a firm believer that kids need boundaries but need to be given responsibility for their own actions instead of their parent getting angry at them. The best thing I have gotten from him is what to do if either you or your kid gets angry to do these two things. First, get down physically below them instead of towering over them which represents anger. And second, encourage yourself or your kid to start doing something to calm down so that later after one calms down, you and your kid can have a conversation about what happened.

Well I hope that this helps and encourages someone out there. You are not alone. A lot people feel angry but I know there is people there to help and a God who knows every single thing about you.  

Favorite Blogs/Podcasts

Here is my updated list of my favorite blogs/podcasts.

5) Jennifer Dukes Lee

Jennifer Dukes Lee was a journalist for sometime until God led her away to be a farmer with her husband in Iowa. She wrote a book called Love Idol which as she puts it, "It's for any woman who needs to know that she has nothing to prove-- that she is 'preapproved in Christ'.". I love her style of writing. She writes about everyday life and makes applicable for all people. If I would meet her, it would seem to be so easy to just sit down with a cup of coffee and talk about life with her. That is what her blog brings.


4) Anna Smit

I met this dear woman online from one of the many linkups I am apart of. She has this amazing blog where she writes about her journey of discovering God's love for her. Her journey started when her mom got a horrible diagnosis of cancer. I love all the scripture she uses in order to show how God works in her but also our own lives. Anna also has written a book about this journey which will be coming out on Mother's Day called Love Embraced. I challenge you to go check out her blog to see the story that God has given to her.





3) Mom Struggling Well podcast

I found this podcast on another bloggers list of podcasts that they listened to. The title caught my attention and as soon as I listened to the first podcast, I knew why it did. The creator of this podcast is Emily Thomas who has a layback personality as she interviews other women but serious about wanting to be a mom who struggles well. I also found out that she was guest on my number one choice with a powerful story of releasing control over to God. I think it was the only podcast that I listened to twice. She isn't afraid to express how she feels about something which makes her so real. At the end of her podcast, she always brings out what she learned and challenges us as the listener to do the same. And I challenge you to do the same with this podcast.


2) True and Faithful by Lisa Appelo

This blog is the oldest blog that I have been following. I found Lisa Appelo's blog "True and Faithful" while I was looking at other Christian blogs. She is one of the reasons I got into the blogging world. Her story is filled with grace and encouragement. She is a widowed mom of seven kids. Appelo's blog is filled with stories of her journey of dealing with loss but always bringing it back to God's faithfulness and amazing grace. She has been able to move on from her husband's death and because of it be able to minister to so many women.





1) God Centered-Mom Podcast

Here is my absolutely favorite blog/podcast: the God Centered Mom by Heather MacFayden. She is a mom of five boys which she has a lot of pride in. Every Monday she interviews someone who tells their story. I love it! I love hearing the stories and the questions she asks to learn more. When she interviews the women she talks to, you can tell she is precise and direct and focused. There are few podcasts where I don't get something from them. Heather is real about her faith and struggles as a mom. She got tried of what she was struggling with and did something with it and God really has blessed her.

Dear Anna Duggar

Dear Anna,

I am so sorry that you and Josh have to go through this extremely difficult time. The pain you must be feeling is beyond words. I am praying for you guys knowing that the both of you are going to have to go through so much to find healing and renewal. Even though the information I have gotten about your feelings is a source, I think you are being a very good wife. Keep drawing near to God and His word. I pray and hope that you have someone to help you process what you are feeling through this. It is most definitely ok to talk to someone other than your husband.
 

In my own life I have experienced some love ones who have struggled with sexual sins. It was surprising and hurtful all at once. Sometimes I blame other people or sometimes myself for the decisions that they have made. But I can't do that. Yes I have a responsibility in the relationships I have with them but their decisions were only their problems. It is only my problem because they are my love ones but they have to ultimately deal with their problems with God. I knew that I had to reevaluate my feelings towards them when I heard what they did and the hurtful things they said to me. Through time and tons of prayer and time in God's word, what was revealed to me that I was not the person I thought I was and I really struggled with my relationship with them. I really had to lean on God's grace to be there for them when I really did not want to. I have recently only discovered after much time and communication with them what I needed to do.
 

In return I guess I encourage you to not give up on Josh. Even though my source is only through a tv show and friends of mine that have actually spent sometime with your  husband's family, Josh really seems like a great guy that has chosen to indulge in the things of this world. As you know already, to be a Christian wife is a big thing! We have a huge responsibility for our husbands. The verse I always hang onto is 1 Peter 3:1-2, 

"3 Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear." 

All we can do is focus on what we have to do through Christ's strength in us. Josh needs someone to tell him that they love him even when he is not being very lovable. I know that is extremely hard right now because you are hurt and angry. I don't even know from my situations how much hurt you feel. But I do know that drawing near to God got (and still getting) me through my situation. I know Satan wants to put every thought into your head but give him 2 Corinthians 10:4-5 ("4 For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, 5 casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ"). He wants you to fail but we have the cross. I am pushing for you guys. 
 

Also there is a website that helps people like you and josh called xxxchurch

Praying always

Your sister in Christ

Kristina

God has been challenging my heart and mind and how it affects my life a lot lately. As a mom and wife, I see the importance of drawing near to God. If I don't, I am not a pleasant person to be around. I am a very self centered person, driven by what others think and how that makes me feel. Kinda discouraging ya know? But I long to be a person that my little one wants to learn from. I long to be a person that my husband can confine in. So I try. And I try. And I try. But then that gets exhausting or I consume myself in the things of this world for temporary pleasure. And all the while, God still remains faithful in working in my heart. This only works through what Jesus did on the cross.
I have been looking up the word phrase "the cross" in the Bible as my quiet time.

Here are some of the verses I have found:

1 Corinthians 1:17
 For Christ did not send me to baptize, but to preach the gospel, not with wisdom of words, lest the cross of Christ should be made of no effect.

Paul preaches the Gospel through what Christ did on the cross. He did not preach from his own strength by his own words because otherwise he would be saying that the cross was useless.
       How many times do I add my works or the good things I do to what Jesus did on the cross for  
       me? I am saying that what He did was not good enough for me which I know that is not true.

1 Corinthians 1:18 NKJV
For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.

Do I believe that the cross brings power? Acknowledging what the power of the cross is a step in the right direction.

Galatians 5:11 NKJV
And I, brethren, if I still preach circumcision, why do I still suffer persecution? Then the offense of the cross has ceased. 

In 1 Corinthians 1:18, the cross is foolishness to those who are not saved. It is foolishness because it offends. As my pastor on Sunday stated, why would anyone want to believe in something that makes you admit that you are wrong and worthless. That is what the cross does. It makes us evaluate our lives and see that we are nothing without Christ and what He did on the cross. If you read before this verse, the Jews were saying that they had to be circumcised in order to be apart of Christ. In believing that, they were rejecting the full power of the cross. It was hard for them to let go of their works and surrender to the cross. They believed something they had to do made themselves apart of Christ. It is called pride to think one is able to still follow the law. That is why Paul asked why does he suffer still if he preached circumcision was part of the cross. He would not be suffering if he agreed with them. In his weakness of suffering, he held onto the offensiveness of the cross that he was nothing without it.
       Am I offended by the cross or do I humbly accepted that I cannot keep the law and rest fully in
       the cross?

Galatians 6:12-15 NLT
Those who are trying to force you to be circumcised want to look good to others. They don’t want to be persecuted for teaching that the cross of Christ alone can save. ¹³ And even those who advocate circumcision don’t keep the whole law themselves. They only want you to be circumcised so they can boast about it and claim you as their disciples.
¹⁴ As for me, may I never boast about anything except the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ. Because of that cross,^[c] my interest in this world has been crucified, and the world’s interest in me has also died. ¹⁵ It doesn’t matter whether we have been circumcised or not. What counts is whether we have been transformed into a new creation.

I liked how the NLT version made it more easier to understand. When we do good works in our own strength, it is self motivated. We want to look good especially when we encourage others to do the same. But like Paul when we boast in the cross, we loose interest in what others think and do it for God alone. The cross makes us a new creation. As Christians we need to boast in the cross to be the new creation that we are.
       Do I hold onto the things and opinions of this world or boast in what Christ has done through
       me?





 

Theme Thursday- Guarding Your Child's Heart

My mother recently gave me this amazing workbook and DVDs called "Guarding Your Child's Heart". As I think about it now, this series follows after the goal I have for my LO that I discussed in a previous blog about the theme of this blog.  I want to be able to memorize and teach scripture to her in order to transform her worldview into a godly one and to show her how it can be used as a daily weapon against this dark world. 

 

The basis of this series is four Christlike beliefs that we need to hold onto. They are 

1) Humble yourself 

2) Love God

3) Love others 

4) Rejoice in trials

 

For each belief, there are two sections of 1) explaining what the belief is and 2) how to apply it to yourself and with your children. I enjoy the applying it with your children section on the dvd the most because you get to meet Dr. Gary Smalley, the author of the series, and his older children who applies it to their own children. They give very practical ways of doing it with scripture to back it up.  

The workbook is very simple and can be easily done in my free time. There are some times I can do it for my quiet time. The DVD segments are maybe fifteen minutes at most. While watching each segment, one can see Dr. Smalley and his passion for God's word. He applies what he is teaching. 

 

Because of this series, it really has challenged me to memorize God's word. I use some of the verses he suggests and add some that I come across when I read the Bible. I have about 17 verses I am working on. I use this app I found online called verse rain. I will hopefully talk about this more on Favorite Friday. But it has been VERY helpful and enjoy using it. 

 

This series has also convicted me on how I need to apply these four beliefs to my own life. I mean it is common sense that if I want to teach my little one how to live her life memorizing and applying God word that I need to do the same. But I will confess, it does not come naturally to me to apply God outwardly to all aspects of life. It is like I have to talk out loud in order for her to learn how to apply these beliefs to her life. That would be such a mess of emotions sometimes but I guess that's what it takes to be transparent, to humble myself and share what is going on in my life with my little girl. Well 1 Peter 5:6 does say if I humble myself under the mighty hand of God that in due time He will exalt me. He is faithful and has been working on my heart and in that I want to trust in Him.

 

 

Top 5 Tuesday- LO's Favorite books

My little one loves looking at books! She has so many toys, but she always seems to wander over to the bookshelf and look at her books. I am happy about that because I am not one of those moms who wanted to be intentional about reading to her little ones. But my little one has made it very easy. And I guess you can say I love the books we have gotten for her because they can be very action oriented and I love that! So here they are!

5) Anything with nursery rhymes
I think my mother in law had a hand in this because she always enjoyed reading the nursery rhyme books that she had. I got one at the Goodwill called Hickory, Dickory, Dock and other favorite nursery rhymes which has been big and colorful pictures that she likes to look at while I cite our favorite nursery rhymes. We also got a book that has a CD where it encourages her to read along. We listen to it in the car which she just relaxes to and sits in the backseat quietly.

4) Ten Tiny Toes by Caroline Jayne Church
This book is so cute! It has a big pictures and a cute baby! She has not catch on with the motions yet or where all her body parts are. But I do get her attention when I say each part of the body and show her where everything is at on her and I both. It reminds me of the Head Shoulders Knees and Toes song. Super fun book!  I totally would love to get her the other books with the same author.

3) Any books with flaps
Peekaboo Kisses and Hello, Baby a lift-the-flap book are two books I recently got at our library bookstore at super great prices. In Peekaboo Kisses by Barney Saltzberg, she lifts up the flaps to an animal giving kisses which also give many textures for her to feel. The last page is her favorite. It is a surprise for her after all the animals. Hello, Baby has cute little babies under the flaps. She loves finding the babies under the flaps as the book asks her where the baby sleeps or what the baby eats. It gives her options on what to flip and shows her where animals sleeps or what other animals eat. Kinda cool.

2) Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown
My little one loves this book! This is another one that my mother in law showed me. I don't even know why she likes this book so much, but every time she sees it, she wants to read it. Maybe it has to do with it being a big board book. I really don't know why, but this is one of her favorites.

1) The four Helen Oxenbury baby books
I cannot tell you how much my little one loves these books! There are four books with these same babies that just seem to grab her attention. Personally they look like man babies to me but when she sees them, she recognizes them. We have 3 out of the 4. The first one we got is called Clap Hands. I put actions with the book and every time I say certain words she can do the action even when we don't have the book open. I have the entire book memorized and could "read" the book anywhere.  

My Little One's love

What a day! But even now in my tired and weak state I see God being faithful. He allows crazy moments and my little one's love to teach me how much He loves me unconditionally. All day long I have had one thing after another happen to me. There is one thing you have to know about me is that I am a big people pleaser to the point of freaking out and not thinking straight. My husband wanted me to burn our trash because it was building up in our shed. For the life of me I couldn't start the fire! I felt like I was disappointing him by not getting it done. I got so frustrated to the point of not caring that my little one was tired and getting upset at standing by herself while mommy was trying to start a fire. But at that moment I felt God's presence sweep over me telling me that this was not worth anybody getting upset about. So I picked her up and felt so much better. During her nap, I drew close to God realizing that all of this was not worth ruining a day over ( by this time it was 11:30). After she woke up I had to go to my in-laws' house and let the dogs out to go to the bathroom. Since the door of their house was close to the truck, I decided to keep my little one in the truck with it running and lock the driver's door only. Well what I forgot was that my truck is not like my car where when you put it into park that all the doors unlock. So I locked my little one in the truck. I was so upset at myself because all I could think of was how bad of a mother I was. I felt so worthless while my little one was crying in the car and how calling my husband would be so hard because of how the morning went with burning the trash. I got ahold of him finally after many busy signals and had the truck open for me. All I could do was cry. We got home after a hour of craziness, and I placed her in her high chair to finish her lunch. And when I gave her her sandwich she smiled at me as if nothing had happened at all. All I could do at that moment was shake my head and wonder how she could feel that way. But I then had the thought that this is how God feels about me in a even bigger way. I mess up but He still loves me. I freak out but He still sticks around. I am not saying this is easy for me to accept but it is something I truly want to grow more to understand and accept. And I think that's what He is trying to teach me.