My Body is a Tool

As some of you read in my previous blog, I had a C-Section because my little one was breech. At the time, God put a peace in my heart about it. Even to this day, I believe it was the right decision for my baby and I. But as time has gone by, I still don't regret but nor I am excited to have another little one. I want to but after having a C-Section, it does not appeal to me. My thoughts are, "My body is now messed up. It is not fully equipped to have another baby because they tore into me and damaged what was not suppose to be damaged. My body is now weak. I most likely will have another C-Section because no one or rarely does any doctor try to have a VBAC." LIES!! But I still worry. Even now I am looking at support groups or other hospitals that do VBACS. But why? I am not planning any time soon to have another one. What would it do? I know this is wrong and I give it over to God but it is still a struggle.
But I serve a God who knows my heart and needs. He knows me as a person who longs to do His will. He knows me as one who wont give up even when I am not the one in control. But He is still faithful and guides me. About 2 weeks ago, a nice girl at church gave me this book called, Loving the Little Years: Motherhood in the Trenches by Rachel Jankovic. (http://www.amazon.com/Loving-Little-Years-Motherhood-Trenches/dp/1591280818). I strongly suggest it to all moms. There was a chapter in her book that addressed what I was feeling. This is what she said,
                "...our bodies are tools, not treasures...Let it be used. By the time you die, you want to have
                 a very dinged and dinted body. Motherhood uses your body in the way that God designed
                 it to be used...But motherhood is what your stomach was made for-- and any wear and tear
                 that it shows is simply the sign of a well-used tool. We are not to treat our bodies like
                 museum pieces. They were not given to us to preserve, they were given to us to use."
She goes on by saying that loosing weight or walking around in sweatpants all the time are things we might have to work at in order maintain our "tool". Our bodies need to be maintain in what season of life we are living in. It might be just taking care of our kids or it might be the season of being pregnant consecutively.
She ends by saying,
                 "Scars and stretch marks and muffin tops are all part of your kingdom work. One of the 
                  greatest testimonies Christian women can have in our world today is the testimony of
                  joyfully giving your body to another...But the answer to these obstacles is not to run away
                  in fear as the world does, but to meet it with joy and in faith."
My body is a tool to serve God's purpose in my life. He decided for me to have a C-Section. Instead of fearing constant "major surgery", I need to see it as a sacrifice to a little human being that God has given to me to take care of.
Now don't get me wrong. This still does not settle with me well but this is a start for me to mediate on and continuously give over to God in prayer. Because as I said before, He is faithful and I am His tool. Am I going to let go of this and allow the all knowing and all powerful God to do what He pleases with my body for His glory?
Here is a verse to finish off this blog found in Psalm 119:73
"Your hands have made me and fashioned me; give me understanding that I may learn Your commandments."