The pass week I have been under tons of spiritual warfare. I feel the tug-a-war between my flesh and God. God has been really fighting for me and I don't want to give in but when I do just a little bit, I cave in to the flesh. I have gotten frustrated with my little goober's eating but realizing how much getting angry just makes it worse. I want to show her grace not anger. Then I watched Tomorrowland which really got me going about our future as a nation and how as a Christian I need to be telling the world of the hope I have in Christ now but also in the future. I then overheard our neighbors arguing which lead me inviting her over and hopefully doing advent calendar with her daughter. Then the Paris attacks happen last Friday which also has been a battle of frustration and anger and fear. I don't want my comfortable life be destroyed by abunch of evil men hiding in abunch of innocent people who are going to come over and mooch off of the government more. But then I made a simple comment on Facebook that I called my governor to ask him to say no to the Syrian refugees which turned out that some of my friends got into an argument of what would Jesus do vs how stupid it would be to allow abunch of terrorists come over. I was torn because as I said before I don't want my little goober killed, nor my husband be beheaded or me being a sex toy to abunch of sick and twisted men. But God woke me up early in the morning and told me that Jesus said we need to love the unthankful and evil and be merciful as He has been merciful to me. I of course allow Facebook to feed my obsession knowing Jesus wants me to trust in Him and bless others. And then today I get the prayer based off of the verse 1 Timothy 1:13-16 but also adding chapter 2 verse 4
"although I [Paul] was formerly a blasphemer, a persecutor, and an insolent man; but I obtained mercy because I did it ignorantly in unbelief. And the grace of our Lord was exceedingly abundant, with faith and love which are in Christ Jesus... who desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth."
Does that not sound familiar? Let's look at it this way:
Blasphemer- to speak against God
Persecutor- pursuing Christians as prey
Insolent man or person- violent person acting out of pride
Who is that? ISIS, Saul, and me. Yes, I have spoken against God in fear and anger. Yes, I have had some really mean thoughts towards some people which Jesus called murder. Is it hard to put myself in the same category as ISIS? Oh yeah! But that's called pride which is not of God. I am a sinner saved by God's grace and they deserve His grace too.
As I said in the beginning God is working on my heart and just because I wrote this does not mean that I get this. I want to but wow it's so hard to let go of this prideful anger and fear. But you know what, that's what praying is about humbly coming towards God and allowing Him to work it out. I have to admit I am so scared.
Jesus, because You came into the world to save sinners, I pray You will save __________ who is a sinner (just like I am) and in need of Your grace and mercy.
Dear Kristina, thank you for visiting my blog and commenting. Beautiful to see God speaking to your heart here. So hard for us to understand things at times.
ReplyDeleteI've befriended a Syrian refugee family and they are a blessing to me. The mother has such a beautiful and kind heart. Yes, there may be terrorists hiding amongst the refugees, but the majority are fleeing the terror that has hit their country, much like the Jews in the Second World War. I pray that all hearts are softened to see, feel and meet the great suffering and need of the Syrian refugees.
Just a side note that most of the terrorists are in fact people from outside of Syria, foreigners entering the country to abuse the situation of conflict (which in fact stemmed from peaceful protests for more democratic rights which were met by brutal force in return). And many are very young impressionable men, whose minds and hearts have been taken captive and have left their families (often against their wishes) to go to Syria to fight. This too is sooo awful. I read a heart wrenching interview with a father of one of the terrorists, who talked of his desperate attempts to free his son from the clutches of evil- which even had him traveling into Syria. How his heart must be hurting now too: as he feels the shame of what his son has done, but also the pain as a father at what has been done to his son.
Can't seem to sign in under WordPress so this will show up under my maiden name, using my private blogger acct.
DeleteBTW just wanted to say that it is easier for me to be less fearful, living in the Netherlands and never experiencing the threat of terrorism to the extent that Americans have. Thank you for being brave in your honesty and also encouraging me to pray fervently for those in the clutches of the evil Islamic State.
how did you connect with a refugee family? I feel like that would be something I would be interested in doing but not sure really where to go. thanks for sharing.
DeleteI live in the Netherlands, so it is a bit easier. I was actually running at the time and ran past a woman who was sitting next to the path I was on. I felt a cover of grief over her...hard to explain, but I felt God nudging me to turn back to go sit next to her...and so after a little hesitation I did. In broken English she communicated her situation: she'd only been in the Netherlands a month with her youngest daughter (then 17) and her husband and knew nobody other than the charity organization that helped them find a house. I still marvel at God's hand in this. I'll see if I can find info for you via an American friend.
DeleteI live in the Netherlands, so it is a bit easier. I was actually running at the time and ran past a woman who was sitting next to the path I was on. I felt a cover of grief over her...hard to explain, but I felt God nudging me to turn back to go sit next to her...and so after a little hesitation I did. In broken English she communicated her situation: she'd only been in the Netherlands a month with her youngest daughter (then 17) and her husband and knew nobody other than the charity organization that helped them find a house. I still marvel at God's hand in this. I'll see if I can find info for you via an American friend.
DeleteWow thanks for sharing! You too have challenged me to step out of my comfort zone. It doesn't even have to be refugees but a lady just sitting on a path you probably run on a lot. It is just saying yes to God. My heart's longing : )
DeleteThank you for being so honest, Kristina. It's all so hard to understand, isn't it? And it's hard not to be afraid. I believe most of the Syrian refugees, like asmitmom said above, are fleeing the terror that has hit their country. I also believe terrorists can also arise among Americans. I don't always feel so kindly towards Isis, but I do need to remember, after what the above commenter wrote, that there is much we don't know. As you say - "I am a sinner saved by God's grace and they deserve His grace too." May God be our Refuge and our Strength! Blessings to you!
ReplyDeletethankful for responding and reminding me that He is our refuge and strength. that is something to hold onto.
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