Sunday, October 7, 2012

God knows best for me : )

The past 3 weeks have been very interesting but the results are huge. I love to see how God uses things in my life to bring Himself glory. It just makes me feel content and happy when I think about it.

For about 10 years, I have dealt with constipation and I did not realize it. In result, I would do things to hurt my natural way of going. Three weeks ago, I freaked myself out because this time I had abdominal pain with it. So I made an appointment to see the doctor and he recommended I have a colonoscopy. The time between the doctor's appointment and the procedure seem like it took forever. Naturally, as a human, I would entertain thoughts that would freak me out, always thinking the worst. BUT I kept drawing near to God. I "loved" how Satan used things like lack of sleep, emotional craziness, and all the things that I struggle with to distract me. BUT God was faithful. So faithful. Well after the procedure (which went very well and I am ok), I now have to deal with the "consequences" of doing something to your body that is not normal. I have a nice little bill coming in the mail soon and now I have to figure out a way to deal with the constipation. BUT God is in control and His promises never change.

 31“Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.            Matthew 6:31-34

It is going to be ok. He knows what we need and will provide. I dont need to allow myself to be consumed what I need to eat. I dont need to worry about how we are going to pay. God knows what is best for me. BUT here comes the best part : ) My God knows ME! He has made me who I am for His glory even in the way I respond to things, with my weaknesses and my strengths. He knows that I like to freak out about my health. He knows that He can get my attention when there is something that I considered a weakness of mine and makes it into this big thing (that really is not that big to Him of course : D ) where it forces me to have to change something. In result, I draw near to Him and once again He is glorified. Let me give you another example : )

December 2008, Cyrus and I just got married. We also started to work together 3 days at Girls Cottage and 3 days at Boys Cottage. Well, on one wet day, in the evening before leaving to go to Boys Cottage, I was working with some girls on their consequences in their charts. One girl got mad at me about a consequence. By this time, I was tired and ready to go on to Boys Cottage and to be honest, dont really remember but I just snapped. It ended up where the one girl and another girl both got mad at me and I left the house in my socks absolutely so mad. One of the other staff were out with the boys and saw me upset and called our supervisor. I made it back to the cottage and our supervisor was there with the two girls downstairs. They started to say some stuff and I got mad again and threw my socks towards them. Cyrus and my supervisor directed me to leave. I left angry and upset to an off duty house. I think I cried out of anger for 2 hours until my supervisor came over and talked to me. I told him I want to give him my 2 weeks notice and could not handle it anymore. He told me that I would have to give him a 30 days notice but that would not be necessary. He said that things were handled at the cottage but that situations like these could come up in court and maybe I needed to go talk to someone. That was God's turnaround point for me. I did not like the idea I was an angry person (never really had to deal with it before) and I had to follow what he said. So I asked our pastor and he led me to my AMAZING, WONDERFUL, GODSENT mentor Jo. It took me a year and a half to allow God to work in my life and brought me to a whole other level spiritually.

One comment. That I would displease someone (something else that I am still learning on how to lean on God for) made me search out for God. Just like heavy discomfort in the abdominal after mistreating my body for a few years made me search out for God. In both cases, the results were good because my God knows me best and what it takes for me to just let go and trust in Him. Even better, I never went to court and my procedure had good results.

I challenge you to think and meditate on how much God knows what is best for you even in moments that are not pleasant. Think about what He might be telling you about yourself where you might have to allow Him to redirect you. The results are amazing: peace in knowing He knows what is best for you.    
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