For this next year, I have started to pray for a year of growth. Alot of changes are at hand. Cyrus and I might have a building opportunity for the business which means alot of planning and time put into it. Like I said before, there are also some things that might happen at work which will determine what my role in that will be. Obama, as we all know, was re-elected (yes I know old news) which comes with TONS of unknown changes that really might affect us for the worse. BUT MY GOD IS IN CONTROL. HIS GRACE AND SOVEREIGNTY WILL OUT SMART ANY CHANGE THAT IS AT HAND OR AS MY PASTOR SAYS, "I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS! I HAVE READ THE END OF THE BOOK". So my new resolution for growth this year will be listening to the small and quiet voice within me wanting me to do things that are unpleasant or make me get out of my comfort zone. Yes thats broad but let me explain.
Changes! Changes! Changes! Changes! They are scary and unsettling especially the ones that are not in our personal lives like the government and taxes and fees and blah blah blah...but the reality is, it has to happen sooner or later. History has proven that to us. I got Cyrus Agenda 21 by Glenn Beck (http://www.glennbeck.com/agenda21/) for Christmas on CD. Sigh...it is some deep stuff but to be honest, as a Christian I struggle with Glenn Beck. I think alot of the things he says are probably right about our government but I also dont like how he presents it. He is a mormon as we know and he brings up God and faith and truth all the time. I dont like it. If Glenn Beck truly believed in God, He would put his faith and hope into Him not trying fight against this or dislike that about Obama and the government. But like I said I think he has some good points politically and I think we need to be aware of those things and be prepared spiritually not the way he says to. I hope that makes sense. But this book really has got me thinking what AM I DOING SPIRITUALLY TO PREPARE MYSELF AND OTHERS FOR THE HARD TIMES THAT ARE TO COME? My first thought that I have been mauling over is how much scripture do I know if they took my Bible away from me. What would I have to offer to share with others in time of hopelessness and no peace? But then I had another thought WHERE IS MY/OUR URGENCY TO TELL OTHERS ABOUT CHRIST NOW? Paul was obsessed about telling others about the Gospel. He lived and breathed the Gospel. DO I live and breath the Gospel? I am around non Christians kids and parents every day at the daycare. Do I share with them Jesus and what He did? No I dont.
Another thing I have been mauling over is being motivated by the grace of God to do things that I dont like to do. I can give you many times the past week where I felt like I should have done something to go the extra mile in helping someone. But I did not do it. I really believe that this is something that I need to do in order to die to myself and live completely for God. As you can tell, I have put some thought in to this but I believe these thoughts are still in their beginning stages. I need to pray over this more. But I really believe this is what God wants me to have for a resolution.
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Resolutions part one
It has been AMAZING to see how God has worked in my life this past year. At the beginning of the year, I made a resolution to be more content in where God has me right now in this part of my life (http://myjourneyinchristinme.blogspot.com/2012/01/new-year-resolution.html). He has made be more content (not perfect at it though : ) ) in 5 areas, starting at 5 and counting down, this past year that I will share with you.
5) My Job
At the beginning of this year, my schedule was switched from morning shift to the afternoon/closing shift. It was nice to get more sleep and be less zombie like all the time. I also got to experience being a teacher for 5 one year olds. From that experience, I have come to enjoy that age. They are no longer little babies but they are not in the terrible twos yet. The "perfect" age. I also have been able to build a accountability with some of the other ladies about not gossiping with each other about how things are run or things that we simply just don't like. For this next year, some things are changing and I am going to have to learn what my role in that is going to be and probably will grow more in that.
4) Living here in Pa
I was not overly happy about being here in Pa. Just another place to get use to. Also, I had to get to know my in laws who are very different from my own family. God made me see the importance of their relationship and convicted me of spending more time with them. WOW what a blessing He has given to me. He has made me content in my relationship with my in laws who I now appreciate alot and know they care for me and sometimes they spoil me : ) But now there is my grandparents in law I need to get to know more.
3) The evil "M" word (Money) : )
I have always been a penny pincher. I hardly spend extra money for myself unless it is a coffee drink at Dunkin Donuts or better yet Starbucks : ) But living paycheck to paycheck and owning your own business is sometimes unsettling. But God has really reminded me of where my money, hours at work, or people who come to the trailer come from. They come from Him. It is all in His hands. Like it says in that O so familiar passage of Matthew 6, if he takes care of the birds by having them travel south for the winter or the beautiful flowers that currently live underground in my mother-in-laws garden ready whenever it is spring to come back up, then He will take care of me. NOW DONT GET ME WRONG HERE. I AM NO WHERE PERFECT WITH MONEY but I do know that He will provide even when it is rough or when I doubt Him. Even now with possible changes in the business or my medical bill from my colonoscopy that seems to haunt me, I have to keep leaning on the promises He will take care of us.
2) Babies
This one is very close to number 1 because I struggle off and on randomly so much with this one and where God has taken me with it is AMAZING. He has shown to me that He is the one who is faithful and very much in control with when I will be able to have a baby. For pete's sake, I could get pregnant right now on birth control. That is how in control He is. One verse I have claimed as my own alot is in 2 Samuel 22:31
As for God, His way is perfect;
The word of the Lord is proven;
He is a shield to all who trust in Him.
Another thing I hold onto is the story when I was born. My mom tells me this all the time. My mom and dad got married when they were 18 and 19 but had me when they were almost 24 and 25. Mom tells me all the time that if she had me when she was younger that I would be entirely different child. What is even cooler is that 2 years later my parents became Christians. God is faithful and all knowing and knows the perfect time to have kids. I cannot say it enough. He is faithful and He has made me very content in that. Also, when I think about other people having kids when they were only married for 2 years or even in their first year of marriage, I am thankful. They cant say that they worked in a group home and took care of tons of teenagers. They cant say they saw 8 capitols. They cant say they have 32 amazing gnomes and 2 particularly amazing gnomes like Fred and Travel. God has given that to me at this time of my life as much as He has given those couples babies at their times of their lives. He knows best.
1) His Grace
When I just typed those words onto the computer screen, it left me speechless for a few moments. What God's Grace has shown to me is huge. I am reading a book currently called Transforming Grace by Jerry Bridges (http://www.amazon.com/Transforming-Grace-Living-Confidently-Unfailing/dp/1600063039). God has used this book to help me see how His grace works in us. Bridges uses Paul as an example alot throughout the book. The whole idea that Paul use to kill Christians and be entirely opposed of the concept of Jesus Christ but then graciously was changed forever to tell gentiles about that same God is huge. But grace does not stop at salvation. It continues on in our lives through the Holy Spirit through the good and the bad. We cannot do anything apart from the grace of God. Bridges says even when we try to do good, there is some ounce of impurity in it. We NEED the grace of God in order to live the way we need to as Christians. I talked to my pastor a little more about grace and he said it was all our perception of God's grace in our lives. We can do NOTHING apart from the grace of God. We are not even in the equation when it comes to us doing things for God or even when we try to live the good Christian life. When I put my focus on myself trying to do good, I am going to fail and kick myself. He led me to Romans 8 where there is no condemnation in Christ. I then have lost the sight of His grace. My focus needs to be what Christ has done on the cross and what He is capable to do in me because of it. I am still learning as you can tell but oh what AMAZING GRACE.
Like I said before though, I am not perfect in these areas, but because I am learning that my God is instructing and teaching me in the way I should go and that I should not be like a stubborn mule or a horse with a bit and bridle fighting Him (Psalm 32: 8-9) but allow Him to lead me to His perfect way for me. In that I am content.
5) My Job
At the beginning of this year, my schedule was switched from morning shift to the afternoon/closing shift. It was nice to get more sleep and be less zombie like all the time. I also got to experience being a teacher for 5 one year olds. From that experience, I have come to enjoy that age. They are no longer little babies but they are not in the terrible twos yet. The "perfect" age. I also have been able to build a accountability with some of the other ladies about not gossiping with each other about how things are run or things that we simply just don't like. For this next year, some things are changing and I am going to have to learn what my role in that is going to be and probably will grow more in that.
4) Living here in Pa
I was not overly happy about being here in Pa. Just another place to get use to. Also, I had to get to know my in laws who are very different from my own family. God made me see the importance of their relationship and convicted me of spending more time with them. WOW what a blessing He has given to me. He has made me content in my relationship with my in laws who I now appreciate alot and know they care for me and sometimes they spoil me : ) But now there is my grandparents in law I need to get to know more.
3) The evil "M" word (Money) : )
I have always been a penny pincher. I hardly spend extra money for myself unless it is a coffee drink at Dunkin Donuts or better yet Starbucks : ) But living paycheck to paycheck and owning your own business is sometimes unsettling. But God has really reminded me of where my money, hours at work, or people who come to the trailer come from. They come from Him. It is all in His hands. Like it says in that O so familiar passage of Matthew 6, if he takes care of the birds by having them travel south for the winter or the beautiful flowers that currently live underground in my mother-in-laws garden ready whenever it is spring to come back up, then He will take care of me. NOW DONT GET ME WRONG HERE. I AM NO WHERE PERFECT WITH MONEY but I do know that He will provide even when it is rough or when I doubt Him. Even now with possible changes in the business or my medical bill from my colonoscopy that seems to haunt me, I have to keep leaning on the promises He will take care of us.
2) Babies
This one is very close to number 1 because I struggle off and on randomly so much with this one and where God has taken me with it is AMAZING. He has shown to me that He is the one who is faithful and very much in control with when I will be able to have a baby. For pete's sake, I could get pregnant right now on birth control. That is how in control He is. One verse I have claimed as my own alot is in 2 Samuel 22:31
As for God, His way is perfect;
The word of the Lord is proven;
He is a shield to all who trust in Him.
Another thing I hold onto is the story when I was born. My mom tells me this all the time. My mom and dad got married when they were 18 and 19 but had me when they were almost 24 and 25. Mom tells me all the time that if she had me when she was younger that I would be entirely different child. What is even cooler is that 2 years later my parents became Christians. God is faithful and all knowing and knows the perfect time to have kids. I cannot say it enough. He is faithful and He has made me very content in that. Also, when I think about other people having kids when they were only married for 2 years or even in their first year of marriage, I am thankful. They cant say that they worked in a group home and took care of tons of teenagers. They cant say they saw 8 capitols. They cant say they have 32 amazing gnomes and 2 particularly amazing gnomes like Fred and Travel. God has given that to me at this time of my life as much as He has given those couples babies at their times of their lives. He knows best.
1) His Grace
When I just typed those words onto the computer screen, it left me speechless for a few moments. What God's Grace has shown to me is huge. I am reading a book currently called Transforming Grace by Jerry Bridges (http://www.amazon.com/Transforming-Grace-Living-Confidently-Unfailing/dp/1600063039). God has used this book to help me see how His grace works in us. Bridges uses Paul as an example alot throughout the book. The whole idea that Paul use to kill Christians and be entirely opposed of the concept of Jesus Christ but then graciously was changed forever to tell gentiles about that same God is huge. But grace does not stop at salvation. It continues on in our lives through the Holy Spirit through the good and the bad. We cannot do anything apart from the grace of God. Bridges says even when we try to do good, there is some ounce of impurity in it. We NEED the grace of God in order to live the way we need to as Christians. I talked to my pastor a little more about grace and he said it was all our perception of God's grace in our lives. We can do NOTHING apart from the grace of God. We are not even in the equation when it comes to us doing things for God or even when we try to live the good Christian life. When I put my focus on myself trying to do good, I am going to fail and kick myself. He led me to Romans 8 where there is no condemnation in Christ. I then have lost the sight of His grace. My focus needs to be what Christ has done on the cross and what He is capable to do in me because of it. I am still learning as you can tell but oh what AMAZING GRACE.
Like I said before though, I am not perfect in these areas, but because I am learning that my God is instructing and teaching me in the way I should go and that I should not be like a stubborn mule or a horse with a bit and bridle fighting Him (Psalm 32: 8-9) but allow Him to lead me to His perfect way for me. In that I am content.
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Christmas thoughts and happenings
I cannot believe that it is already the 13th! This Christmas season has gone by so fast with some exciting things happening. First, my in-laws gave Cyrus and I $500 to go visit my family in California. We are going out there next month. I am excited! Living far away from my parents make me appreciate them alot. It is hard not being around them for the holidays and I think my in laws see that. But I came up with an idea. I decided to wanted to spend the holidays with my parents (mostly mom) by calling them on the phone everyday until Christmas. My goal was to share what God is showing us this Christmas season and shared it with each other and pray about it. I have tried to add fun things like singing Christmas carols or going to 360cities.net and visiting a place together. I hope to watch a movie with them over the phone but we will see. I want to write this all down and share online somewhere because I think there are alot of people who don't live near their families and want to connect with them.
I think it is amazing to see how I serve a God that never changes. I think as humans it is so easy to make a big deal about Jesus on Christmas and Easter but loose sight of Him all other times of the year. This Christmas season I have reflected more about this entire year and how He continues on to show Himself even more. I serve a faithful God! I serve a God who knows my heart's desires. I serve a God who loves and protects me. I serve a God who gives strength, peace, and contentment. The coolest thing is He came down as a baby away from all His glory in heaven to be a human, to experience this horrible human body and show us the true example we need to live. He uses imperfect people to prepare the way for Him for many many many years (judah and tamar, rehab, ruth, david and bathsheba) and even to bring Himself into this world. Such perfect grace and holiness!
Cyrus also gets to take a break this season from the business and work another job. It will be nice to go to the winter festival with him and his family since he won't be working at all on Saturdays for awhile. I just continue to pray as God shows us what's next. But I am excited for Cyrus being done for the Christmas season.
Also I get to direct, with a co worker, the Christmas program at the daycare. The theme is the sweetest Christmas ever. Everything is around candy. There is even a big part of the program where candy gives us a reminder of all the parts of the Christmas story. http://www.juliabettencourt.com/dev/sweetchristmasdev.html It is exciting to see the little ones knowing their lines and singing their songs. It has been interesting to see how it came about but fun to plan with co workers and the kids.
The Christmas is not over yet and I can't wait to see how much more God continues to bless us.
I think it is amazing to see how I serve a God that never changes. I think as humans it is so easy to make a big deal about Jesus on Christmas and Easter but loose sight of Him all other times of the year. This Christmas season I have reflected more about this entire year and how He continues on to show Himself even more. I serve a faithful God! I serve a God who knows my heart's desires. I serve a God who loves and protects me. I serve a God who gives strength, peace, and contentment. The coolest thing is He came down as a baby away from all His glory in heaven to be a human, to experience this horrible human body and show us the true example we need to live. He uses imperfect people to prepare the way for Him for many many many years (judah and tamar, rehab, ruth, david and bathsheba) and even to bring Himself into this world. Such perfect grace and holiness!
Cyrus also gets to take a break this season from the business and work another job. It will be nice to go to the winter festival with him and his family since he won't be working at all on Saturdays for awhile. I just continue to pray as God shows us what's next. But I am excited for Cyrus being done for the Christmas season.
Also I get to direct, with a co worker, the Christmas program at the daycare. The theme is the sweetest Christmas ever. Everything is around candy. There is even a big part of the program where candy gives us a reminder of all the parts of the Christmas story. http://www.juliabettencourt.com/dev/sweetchristmasdev.html It is exciting to see the little ones knowing their lines and singing their songs. It has been interesting to see how it came about but fun to plan with co workers and the kids.
The Christmas is not over yet and I can't wait to see how much more God continues to bless us.
Sunday, October 7, 2012
God knows best for me : )
The past 3 weeks have been very interesting but the results are huge. I love to see how God uses things in my life to bring Himself glory. It just makes me feel content and happy when I think about it.
For about 10 years, I have dealt with constipation and I did not realize it. In result, I would do things to hurt my natural way of going. Three weeks ago, I freaked myself out because this time I had abdominal pain with it. So I made an appointment to see the doctor and he recommended I have a colonoscopy. The time between the doctor's appointment and the procedure seem like it took forever. Naturally, as a human, I would entertain thoughts that would freak me out, always thinking the worst. BUT I kept drawing near to God. I "loved" how Satan used things like lack of sleep, emotional craziness, and all the things that I struggle with to distract me. BUT God was faithful. So faithful. Well after the procedure (which went very well and I am ok), I now have to deal with the "consequences" of doing something to your body that is not normal. I have a nice little bill coming in the mail soon and now I have to figure out a way to deal with the constipation. BUT God is in control and His promises never change.
31“Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. Matthew 6:31-34
It is going to be ok. He knows what we need and will provide. I dont need to allow myself to be consumed what I need to eat. I dont need to worry about how we are going to pay. God knows what is best for me. BUT here comes the best part : ) My God knows ME! He has made me who I am for His glory even in the way I respond to things, with my weaknesses and my strengths. He knows that I like to freak out about my health. He knows that He can get my attention when there is something that I considered a weakness of mine and makes it into this big thing (that really is not that big to Him of course : D ) where it forces me to have to change something. In result, I draw near to Him and once again He is glorified. Let me give you another example : )
December 2008, Cyrus and I just got married. We also started to work together 3 days at Girls Cottage and 3 days at Boys Cottage. Well, on one wet day, in the evening before leaving to go to Boys Cottage, I was working with some girls on their consequences in their charts. One girl got mad at me about a consequence. By this time, I was tired and ready to go on to Boys Cottage and to be honest, dont really remember but I just snapped. It ended up where the one girl and another girl both got mad at me and I left the house in my socks absolutely so mad. One of the other staff were out with the boys and saw me upset and called our supervisor. I made it back to the cottage and our supervisor was there with the two girls downstairs. They started to say some stuff and I got mad again and threw my socks towards them. Cyrus and my supervisor directed me to leave. I left angry and upset to an off duty house. I think I cried out of anger for 2 hours until my supervisor came over and talked to me. I told him I want to give him my 2 weeks notice and could not handle it anymore. He told me that I would have to give him a 30 days notice but that would not be necessary. He said that things were handled at the cottage but that situations like these could come up in court and maybe I needed to go talk to someone. That was God's turnaround point for me. I did not like the idea I was an angry person (never really had to deal with it before) and I had to follow what he said. So I asked our pastor and he led me to my AMAZING, WONDERFUL, GODSENT mentor Jo. It took me a year and a half to allow God to work in my life and brought me to a whole other level spiritually.
One comment. That I would displease someone (something else that I am still learning on how to lean on God for) made me search out for God. Just like heavy discomfort in the abdominal after mistreating my body for a few years made me search out for God. In both cases, the results were good because my God knows me best and what it takes for me to just let go and trust in Him. Even better, I never went to court and my procedure had good results.
I challenge you to think and meditate on how much God knows what is best for you even in moments that are not pleasant. Think about what He might be telling you about yourself where you might have to allow Him to redirect you. The results are amazing: peace in knowing He knows what is best for you.
For about 10 years, I have dealt with constipation and I did not realize it. In result, I would do things to hurt my natural way of going. Three weeks ago, I freaked myself out because this time I had abdominal pain with it. So I made an appointment to see the doctor and he recommended I have a colonoscopy. The time between the doctor's appointment and the procedure seem like it took forever. Naturally, as a human, I would entertain thoughts that would freak me out, always thinking the worst. BUT I kept drawing near to God. I "loved" how Satan used things like lack of sleep, emotional craziness, and all the things that I struggle with to distract me. BUT God was faithful. So faithful. Well after the procedure (which went very well and I am ok), I now have to deal with the "consequences" of doing something to your body that is not normal. I have a nice little bill coming in the mail soon and now I have to figure out a way to deal with the constipation. BUT God is in control and His promises never change.
31“Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. Matthew 6:31-34
It is going to be ok. He knows what we need and will provide. I dont need to allow myself to be consumed what I need to eat. I dont need to worry about how we are going to pay. God knows what is best for me. BUT here comes the best part : ) My God knows ME! He has made me who I am for His glory even in the way I respond to things, with my weaknesses and my strengths. He knows that I like to freak out about my health. He knows that He can get my attention when there is something that I considered a weakness of mine and makes it into this big thing (that really is not that big to Him of course : D ) where it forces me to have to change something. In result, I draw near to Him and once again He is glorified. Let me give you another example : )
December 2008, Cyrus and I just got married. We also started to work together 3 days at Girls Cottage and 3 days at Boys Cottage. Well, on one wet day, in the evening before leaving to go to Boys Cottage, I was working with some girls on their consequences in their charts. One girl got mad at me about a consequence. By this time, I was tired and ready to go on to Boys Cottage and to be honest, dont really remember but I just snapped. It ended up where the one girl and another girl both got mad at me and I left the house in my socks absolutely so mad. One of the other staff were out with the boys and saw me upset and called our supervisor. I made it back to the cottage and our supervisor was there with the two girls downstairs. They started to say some stuff and I got mad again and threw my socks towards them. Cyrus and my supervisor directed me to leave. I left angry and upset to an off duty house. I think I cried out of anger for 2 hours until my supervisor came over and talked to me. I told him I want to give him my 2 weeks notice and could not handle it anymore. He told me that I would have to give him a 30 days notice but that would not be necessary. He said that things were handled at the cottage but that situations like these could come up in court and maybe I needed to go talk to someone. That was God's turnaround point for me. I did not like the idea I was an angry person (never really had to deal with it before) and I had to follow what he said. So I asked our pastor and he led me to my AMAZING, WONDERFUL, GODSENT mentor Jo. It took me a year and a half to allow God to work in my life and brought me to a whole other level spiritually.
One comment. That I would displease someone (something else that I am still learning on how to lean on God for) made me search out for God. Just like heavy discomfort in the abdominal after mistreating my body for a few years made me search out for God. In both cases, the results were good because my God knows me best and what it takes for me to just let go and trust in Him. Even better, I never went to court and my procedure had good results.
I challenge you to think and meditate on how much God knows what is best for you even in moments that are not pleasant. Think about what He might be telling you about yourself where you might have to allow Him to redirect you. The results are amazing: peace in knowing He knows what is best for you.
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
His Way is Perfect
I have not written in awhile on here and really have been wanting to. I think it is mostly because I want it to sound good but it kinda looses the point of allowing God work in me. So here I go. God has really been showing me alot lately how in control He is and how perfect His way is for me.
Alot went on this summer at work. I got to be a full time teacher for five one year olds. Wow alot of work but very rewarding. It is kinda funny how at the beginning of the summer I was fretting about what would happen with the unknowns of daycare life. One teacher was going on a six week mission trip...so maybe I would help in there. But they were needing a school age teacher...maybe I would be in there. But nope not at all what I thought would happen. They needed someone to be in the pre toddler classroom for the summer and put me in there. At the same time two new kids were transitioning in as I was. What was I going to do? They were constantly crying. Be still Kristina! In two weeks both were settling in very attached to me. I also was not a big fan of nap time. I had one kid wake up like only a hour after they went asleep and within 15 minutes would have all the others awake and it was only 1:05pm! Even if I made them fall asleep later then the others they would still be up and have everyone else up early. Kristina who is in control?! I soon realize ( will confess still struggle with) that God woke up the kids when He wanted to and how I responded was what I was in control of. There was days when I had to do things for the class and they woke up and I had to give them toys to play with until I was not busy. They got upset and I had to redirect them. They just got louder but you know what no one woke up! : ) lol Kristina who is in control again? ; ) As the end of the summer came, I began to start thinking what's next? It started to affect my attitude but then God showed me two verses.
Psalm 32:8-9 8 I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will guide you with My eye. 9 Do not be like the horse or like the mule, Which have no understanding, Which must be harnessed with bit and bridle, Else they will not come near you.
2 Samuel 22:31 31 As for God, His way is perfect; The word of the Lord is proven; He is a shield to all who trust in Him.
He knows and He will direct me! And it will be perfect and I need to know His promises and word is proven or flawless like niv version says and seek Him as my shield until He shows me. Today was my first day kidless and you know what Satan was attacking me hardcore. "if only you had your own kids!" mmmm... Kristina is your way perfect or is God's?
Alot went on this summer at work. I got to be a full time teacher for five one year olds. Wow alot of work but very rewarding. It is kinda funny how at the beginning of the summer I was fretting about what would happen with the unknowns of daycare life. One teacher was going on a six week mission trip...so maybe I would help in there. But they were needing a school age teacher...maybe I would be in there. But nope not at all what I thought would happen. They needed someone to be in the pre toddler classroom for the summer and put me in there. At the same time two new kids were transitioning in as I was. What was I going to do? They were constantly crying. Be still Kristina! In two weeks both were settling in very attached to me. I also was not a big fan of nap time. I had one kid wake up like only a hour after they went asleep and within 15 minutes would have all the others awake and it was only 1:05pm! Even if I made them fall asleep later then the others they would still be up and have everyone else up early. Kristina who is in control?! I soon realize ( will confess still struggle with) that God woke up the kids when He wanted to and how I responded was what I was in control of. There was days when I had to do things for the class and they woke up and I had to give them toys to play with until I was not busy. They got upset and I had to redirect them. They just got louder but you know what no one woke up! : ) lol Kristina who is in control again? ; ) As the end of the summer came, I began to start thinking what's next? It started to affect my attitude but then God showed me two verses.
Psalm 32:8-9 8 I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will guide you with My eye. 9 Do not be like the horse or like the mule, Which have no understanding, Which must be harnessed with bit and bridle, Else they will not come near you.
2 Samuel 22:31 31 As for God, His way is perfect; The word of the Lord is proven; He is a shield to all who trust in Him.
He knows and He will direct me! And it will be perfect and I need to know His promises and word is proven or flawless like niv version says and seek Him as my shield until He shows me. Today was my first day kidless and you know what Satan was attacking me hardcore. "if only you had your own kids!" mmmm... Kristina is your way perfect or is God's?
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Holiness and Love
I am currently reading a book called Pursuit of Holiness by Jerry Bridges. It is a pretty good read so far. He plants in our mind a challenging and thought provoking way of looking at God's holiness and how we can pursue it in our own lives. Apparently I never have really thought about God's holiness before but it really has struck me as important in my life now.
So to start my journey on learning about God's holiness was to look up the verses that Bridges had used in his book. The first one was Leviticus 11:44
"For I am the Lord your God. You shall therefore consecrate yourselves, and you shall be holy; for I am holy. Neither shall you defile yourselves with any creeping thing that creeps on the earth."
Now whats cool about having a study Bible is the notes at the bottom and they led me to Leviticus chapters 17-26. They called them the holy chapters. So if I wanted to learn more about God's holiness and what He expected I had to read these chapters. I will confess I was scared. I have not been a fan of this particular book of the Bible. It is just scary. But if my God changed this heart of mine from thinking the Bible was an emotionally dead book to reading and understanding it on a whole other level, then I know I could read these chapters in Leviticus. I have been and wow He has showed me alot.
For starters, God HATES when we allow other things in our lives other than Him such as I read in Leviticus 20:1-8
"Then the Lord spoke to Moses, saying, 2 “Again, you shall say to the children of Israel: ‘Whoever of the children of Israel, or of the strangers who dwell in Israel, who gives any of his descendants to Molech, he shall surely be put to death. The people of the land shall stone him with stones. 3 I will set My face against that man, and will cut him off from his people, because he has given some of his descendants to Molech, to defile My sanctuary and profane My holy name. 4 And if the people of the land should in any way hide their eyes from the man, when he gives some of his descendants to Molech, and they do not kill him, 5 then I will set My face against that man and against his family; and I will cut him off from his people, and all who prostitute themselves with him to commit harlotry with Molech.
6 ‘And the person who turns to mediums and familiar spirits, to prostitute himself with them, I will set My face against that person and cut him off from his people. 7 Consecrate yourselves therefore, and be holy, for I am the Lord your God. 8 And you shall keep My statutes, and perform them: I am the Lord who sanctifies you."
God compares us to prostitutes when we put other things more importantly before Him! Ok I dont know about you but people who give themselves away to just anyone makes me sad and I will confess, even disgusted. But I do it. I put other things before God and I am a prostitute. No wonder James calls us adulterers and adulteresses in James 4:4 when we choose the world or things of the world before God.
"4 Adulterers and[a] adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.
But at the end of the chapter God gives Isreal 2 promises that we too can remember,
24 But I have said to you, “You shall inherit their land, and I will give it to you to possess, a land flowing with milk and honey.” I am the Lord your God, who has separated you from the peoples... 26 And you shall be holy to Me, for I the Lord am holy, and have separated you from the peoples, that you should be Mine."
You shall inherit the land and I will give it to you to possess is the first promise. I think it is awesome how God gives this land to them even if they still have to go and fight for it. Even then God comes alongside them and fights for them. For us, I know God has not given us land to possess but we do have our new life we have inherited from God who is our Father in Heaven. We have to live life being conquerors through Him battling the sin so we can have a life with peace and joy.
The second promise is that they were separated from the peoples which made them His. They were the Jewish nation with a chosen land given to them by a God who was ultimately and supremely holy. He gave them a life set apart from others that glorified Him. We too are the same way, We are chosen by God to be people set apart from this world. We need to be different living by His standards and grace. As He said we need to be holy as He is holy.
It really got me thinking, God is very serious about our sin. He does not tolerate it at all. He cant be around it. I mean He is serious when He says that if we have sin in our lives that He cannot hear us. I mean if you read onto the next chapter, He also gives Aaron and his sons strict guidelines to even go into His presence. They were even more special then Isreal with entirely different rules. It should be the same with us. How is our heart when we approach God? Do we have sin in our lives? Did we think something mean to someone else the day before or mistreated a total stranger at work? Anything that is not of God puts up this barrier between us and God where we should not approach Him until we confess our sins. Something I recently have started was reading Psalm 139: 23-24
Now what is even more cool on how God has been working in my life is how one of my pastors at my church have been talking about the attributes of God and mentioned God's holiness but also His love. Ever since I have been focusing on God's holiness, I have this fear that I am going to go legalistic or focus too much on the sin aspect and become graceless. I also think that I have not fully been aware of God's love for me. I think I have this human like love stuck in my head and think that God does the same thing. But He doesnt. My thoughts are how can one balance out His love and holiness and live a life conscious of both? I believe God is showing me things. So I am excited. But if there is anyone who would comment about finding that balance that would be cool. I am curious to see what He will show me.
So to start my journey on learning about God's holiness was to look up the verses that Bridges had used in his book. The first one was Leviticus 11:44
"For I am the Lord your God. You shall therefore consecrate yourselves, and you shall be holy; for I am holy. Neither shall you defile yourselves with any creeping thing that creeps on the earth."
Now whats cool about having a study Bible is the notes at the bottom and they led me to Leviticus chapters 17-26. They called them the holy chapters. So if I wanted to learn more about God's holiness and what He expected I had to read these chapters. I will confess I was scared. I have not been a fan of this particular book of the Bible. It is just scary. But if my God changed this heart of mine from thinking the Bible was an emotionally dead book to reading and understanding it on a whole other level, then I know I could read these chapters in Leviticus. I have been and wow He has showed me alot.
For starters, God HATES when we allow other things in our lives other than Him such as I read in Leviticus 20:1-8
"Then the Lord spoke to Moses, saying, 2 “Again, you shall say to the children of Israel: ‘Whoever of the children of Israel, or of the strangers who dwell in Israel, who gives any of his descendants to Molech, he shall surely be put to death. The people of the land shall stone him with stones. 3 I will set My face against that man, and will cut him off from his people, because he has given some of his descendants to Molech, to defile My sanctuary and profane My holy name. 4 And if the people of the land should in any way hide their eyes from the man, when he gives some of his descendants to Molech, and they do not kill him, 5 then I will set My face against that man and against his family; and I will cut him off from his people, and all who prostitute themselves with him to commit harlotry with Molech.
6 ‘And the person who turns to mediums and familiar spirits, to prostitute himself with them, I will set My face against that person and cut him off from his people. 7 Consecrate yourselves therefore, and be holy, for I am the Lord your God. 8 And you shall keep My statutes, and perform them: I am the Lord who sanctifies you."
God compares us to prostitutes when we put other things more importantly before Him! Ok I dont know about you but people who give themselves away to just anyone makes me sad and I will confess, even disgusted. But I do it. I put other things before God and I am a prostitute. No wonder James calls us adulterers and adulteresses in James 4:4 when we choose the world or things of the world before God.
"4 Adulterers and[a] adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.
But at the end of the chapter God gives Isreal 2 promises that we too can remember,
24 But I have said to you, “You shall inherit their land, and I will give it to you to possess, a land flowing with milk and honey.” I am the Lord your God, who has separated you from the peoples... 26 And you shall be holy to Me, for I the Lord am holy, and have separated you from the peoples, that you should be Mine."
You shall inherit the land and I will give it to you to possess is the first promise. I think it is awesome how God gives this land to them even if they still have to go and fight for it. Even then God comes alongside them and fights for them. For us, I know God has not given us land to possess but we do have our new life we have inherited from God who is our Father in Heaven. We have to live life being conquerors through Him battling the sin so we can have a life with peace and joy.
The second promise is that they were separated from the peoples which made them His. They were the Jewish nation with a chosen land given to them by a God who was ultimately and supremely holy. He gave them a life set apart from others that glorified Him. We too are the same way, We are chosen by God to be people set apart from this world. We need to be different living by His standards and grace. As He said we need to be holy as He is holy.
It really got me thinking, God is very serious about our sin. He does not tolerate it at all. He cant be around it. I mean He is serious when He says that if we have sin in our lives that He cannot hear us. I mean if you read onto the next chapter, He also gives Aaron and his sons strict guidelines to even go into His presence. They were even more special then Isreal with entirely different rules. It should be the same with us. How is our heart when we approach God? Do we have sin in our lives? Did we think something mean to someone else the day before or mistreated a total stranger at work? Anything that is not of God puts up this barrier between us and God where we should not approach Him until we confess our sins. Something I recently have started was reading Psalm 139: 23-24
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me, and know my anxieties;
24 And see if there is any wicked way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting.
Try me, and know my anxieties;
24 And see if there is any wicked way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting.
It is pretty amazing what He brings to mind when I sincerely approach Him as the holy God He is.
Now what is even more cool on how God has been working in my life is how one of my pastors at my church have been talking about the attributes of God and mentioned God's holiness but also His love. Ever since I have been focusing on God's holiness, I have this fear that I am going to go legalistic or focus too much on the sin aspect and become graceless. I also think that I have not fully been aware of God's love for me. I think I have this human like love stuck in my head and think that God does the same thing. But He doesnt. My thoughts are how can one balance out His love and holiness and live a life conscious of both? I believe God is showing me things. So I am excited. But if there is anyone who would comment about finding that balance that would be cool. I am curious to see what He will show me.
Sunday, May 6, 2012
The Be Still Verses
Starting in Exodus 14, the Parting of the Red Sea.
In v. 4 God tells Moses that He will harden Pharaoh's heart and let him come after the Isrealites. BUT that they will know that He is the Lord and will kick butt. I thing I thought of was "That's it! God does not tell Moses how He will do it but that He will. Moses had faith in knowing God would protect them with no questioning.".
In v.11 The Isrealites start complaining despite all the other faithfulness of God
In v. 13-14 Moses replies in a nice way, "Do not be afraid, stand still and the salvation of the Lord you will see...the Lord will fight for you."
In v.15, God tells Moses what he needs to do
In v.19-20, 24-25, 27-28 God did fight for them
1) the pillar of cloud confused them and did not allow them to proceed on. It put out darkness towards the Egyptians and light towards the Isrealites
2) While Pharaoh came after Isreal on dry ground, He took off their chariot wheels and put fear in the Egyptians
3) God covered and overthrew the Egyptians in the Red Sea
Nehemiah 8
The walls of the temple are rebuilt. They are restoring Jerusalem but now Ezra and Nehemiah and the Levites are going to restore the hearts of Isreal by reading the law of Moses.
In v. 2-3 Ezra reads to all people the law of Moses for 6 hours! They read and read until the children of Isreal understood it.
In v.6 Ezra starts out by praying to God for them to be blessed and the people said amen in agreeableness. They then lift their hands and put their faces to the ground.
In v. 8 the Levites were there to help them to understand
In v. 9-10 Ezra encourages them to make this day holy. They are of course by this time weeping because they were convicted. But Ezra kept on encouraging them saying this is a holy day, celebrate because God's word brings joy.
In v. 11-12 the Levites tell them to be still and go out and eat and drink and celebrate.
In v. 14 they come together again to read some more
In v. 15-17 this time they implemented what they read from Lev 23 which said to go out and build booths made out of assorted branches. This was to remind them how God provided for the children of Isreal while they were living in tents in the wilderness. They brought remembrance and glory to what God did for their people.
Psalm 37 ( one of my favorite psalm)
In v.3 Trust in Him by dwelling in the land and feeding on His faithfulness.
In v.5 Commit and trust in the Lord and He will bring it to pass
In v.7 rest and wait patiently in the Lord. Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way. REST and WAIT!
In v.8 cease from anger and forsake wrath, it only causes harm
In. v. 9 do evil= be cut off; wait on God= inherit the earth
In v.13 the Lord is laughing at the wicked because they think they are so hot but He knows when they will be put away
In v. 17 arms of the wicked will be broken but God with His strong right hand will uphold up the righteous.
In v. 30-31 the righteous speaks wisdom and justice because the word of God us is in his heart and God allows his steps to be steady
In v. 34 wait on the Lord, keep His ways= He will exalt the land and you will see the wicked cut off.
In v.39-40 salvation and strength in time of trouble is from the Lord. He helps, delivers, and saves them from the wicked BECAUSE THEY TRUST IN HIM
1 Thess 4
This chapter comes in 3 sections
Section 1 v1-8
In v. 1-2 Paul encourages and urges them to apply what was taught but also from God's word. So they could walk and please God
In v. 3 In one way is abstaining from sexual immorality
In v.4-6 1) on a personal level watch out for yourself not passion of lust and 2) not taking advantage of others sexually too.
(this means also what is in our minds with the movies or tv shows we watch or books that we read. EVERYTHING THAT GOES INTO YOUR MIND)
In v 7-8 God called us to holiness not uncleanness
Section 2 v9-12
In v.9 Paul encourages them by saying that they are good at loving others
In v. 10 but of course they need to increase in that more and more
In. v 11-12 they need to work on with loving others in 1) leading a quiet life or BEING STILL, 2) mind their own business, and 3) work with their hands. In result, 1) they walk properly, 2) lack nothing, and 3) that others who is not of Christ will see you
Section 3 v13-18
In v 13-14 apparently people were telling this church that their love ones were not going to rise again when Christ comes back but Paul tells them straightforward that whoever believes on Jesus who died and rose again with rise with Jesus
In v. 15 as a matter of fact, they will rise first (darn them ; ) )
In v. 16-17 Paul describes the wonderful event of Jesus coming back, them first and then us and we will meet them in the air with Christ : ) : )
In v. 18 he concludes that we to comfort others with these words
1 Peter 3:1-6, 8-12
In v 1-2 wives ( or people who want to get married one day needs to prepare themselves now ) need to be submissive to their husbands even if they do not obey God because they might "win over" their husbands by their good conduct.
In v. 3-4 It is the heart of the woman that matter not the outside. It has to be a hidden person (that is why all the godly girls keep guys guessing), w/ incorruptible beauty (something that does not fade away) and wl a gentile and quiet spirit which is precious in the sight of God
In v.5-6 holy women from the OT who adorned themselves with God and allowing themselves to be submissive, respected their husbands. Sarah was an example of that.
In v 8 after talking to citizens of a country who also could be slaves, wives and husbands, Peter tells us TO BE ONE MIND, having compassion for one another, love as brothers, be tenderhearted and be courteous.
In v.9 dont return evil for evil or rude remarks to another rude remark (dont put others down) BUT bless other because we may inherit one too
In v 10 Peter quotes from Ps 34:12-16 which gives us the "secret" formula for one who loves life and who wants to see longer days 1) refrain from speaking evil or deceit, 2) turn from evil and do good, and 3) seek peace and pursue it. Then the Psalm gives us a nice reminder THAT GOD LOOKS OUT FOR THE RIGHTEOUS AND LISTENS TO THEIR PRAYERS, BUT TURNS HIS FACE FROM THE EVIL OR THE ONES WHO DONT FOLLOW WHAT WAS SAID ABOVE.
SOOO A RECAP!!
Exodus 14- Have faith in who and what God says He will do...He will fight for us!
Nehemiah 8- Read the Word! Apply it! It brings us joy and restores our soul!
Psalm 37- Trust, Rest, Wait on the Lord! He knows the outcome!
1 Thessalonians 4- To live a quiet or being still life, we need a pure mind, loving others, and encourage others that Christ is coming back
1 Peter 3:1-6, 8-12- In order to be the woman of a gentle and quiet spirit, we need God to be #1 and being one mind with others.
In v. 4 God tells Moses that He will harden Pharaoh's heart and let him come after the Isrealites. BUT that they will know that He is the Lord and will kick butt. I thing I thought of was "That's it! God does not tell Moses how He will do it but that He will. Moses had faith in knowing God would protect them with no questioning.".
In v.11 The Isrealites start complaining despite all the other faithfulness of God
In v. 13-14 Moses replies in a nice way, "Do not be afraid, stand still and the salvation of the Lord you will see...the Lord will fight for you."
In v.15, God tells Moses what he needs to do
In v.19-20, 24-25, 27-28 God did fight for them
1) the pillar of cloud confused them and did not allow them to proceed on. It put out darkness towards the Egyptians and light towards the Isrealites
2) While Pharaoh came after Isreal on dry ground, He took off their chariot wheels and put fear in the Egyptians
3) God covered and overthrew the Egyptians in the Red Sea
Nehemiah 8
The walls of the temple are rebuilt. They are restoring Jerusalem but now Ezra and Nehemiah and the Levites are going to restore the hearts of Isreal by reading the law of Moses.
In v. 2-3 Ezra reads to all people the law of Moses for 6 hours! They read and read until the children of Isreal understood it.
In v.6 Ezra starts out by praying to God for them to be blessed and the people said amen in agreeableness. They then lift their hands and put their faces to the ground.
In v. 8 the Levites were there to help them to understand
In v. 9-10 Ezra encourages them to make this day holy. They are of course by this time weeping because they were convicted. But Ezra kept on encouraging them saying this is a holy day, celebrate because God's word brings joy.
In v. 11-12 the Levites tell them to be still and go out and eat and drink and celebrate.
In v. 14 they come together again to read some more
In v. 15-17 this time they implemented what they read from Lev 23 which said to go out and build booths made out of assorted branches. This was to remind them how God provided for the children of Isreal while they were living in tents in the wilderness. They brought remembrance and glory to what God did for their people.
Psalm 37 ( one of my favorite psalm)
In v.3 Trust in Him by dwelling in the land and feeding on His faithfulness.
In v.5 Commit and trust in the Lord and He will bring it to pass
In v.7 rest and wait patiently in the Lord. Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way. REST and WAIT!
In v.8 cease from anger and forsake wrath, it only causes harm
In. v. 9 do evil= be cut off; wait on God= inherit the earth
In v.13 the Lord is laughing at the wicked because they think they are so hot but He knows when they will be put away
In v. 17 arms of the wicked will be broken but God with His strong right hand will uphold up the righteous.
In v. 30-31 the righteous speaks wisdom and justice because the word of God us is in his heart and God allows his steps to be steady
In v. 34 wait on the Lord, keep His ways= He will exalt the land and you will see the wicked cut off.
In v.39-40 salvation and strength in time of trouble is from the Lord. He helps, delivers, and saves them from the wicked BECAUSE THEY TRUST IN HIM
1 Thess 4
This chapter comes in 3 sections
Section 1 v1-8
In v. 1-2 Paul encourages and urges them to apply what was taught but also from God's word. So they could walk and please God
In v. 3 In one way is abstaining from sexual immorality
In v.4-6 1) on a personal level watch out for yourself not passion of lust and 2) not taking advantage of others sexually too.
(this means also what is in our minds with the movies or tv shows we watch or books that we read. EVERYTHING THAT GOES INTO YOUR MIND)
In v 7-8 God called us to holiness not uncleanness
Section 2 v9-12
In v.9 Paul encourages them by saying that they are good at loving others
In v. 10 but of course they need to increase in that more and more
In. v 11-12 they need to work on with loving others in 1) leading a quiet life or BEING STILL, 2) mind their own business, and 3) work with their hands. In result, 1) they walk properly, 2) lack nothing, and 3) that others who is not of Christ will see you
Section 3 v13-18
In v 13-14 apparently people were telling this church that their love ones were not going to rise again when Christ comes back but Paul tells them straightforward that whoever believes on Jesus who died and rose again with rise with Jesus
In v. 15 as a matter of fact, they will rise first (darn them ; ) )
In v. 16-17 Paul describes the wonderful event of Jesus coming back, them first and then us and we will meet them in the air with Christ : ) : )
In v. 18 he concludes that we to comfort others with these words
1 Peter 3:1-6, 8-12
In v 1-2 wives ( or people who want to get married one day needs to prepare themselves now ) need to be submissive to their husbands even if they do not obey God because they might "win over" their husbands by their good conduct.
In v. 3-4 It is the heart of the woman that matter not the outside. It has to be a hidden person (that is why all the godly girls keep guys guessing), w/ incorruptible beauty (something that does not fade away) and wl a gentile and quiet spirit which is precious in the sight of God
In v.5-6 holy women from the OT who adorned themselves with God and allowing themselves to be submissive, respected their husbands. Sarah was an example of that.
In v 8 after talking to citizens of a country who also could be slaves, wives and husbands, Peter tells us TO BE ONE MIND, having compassion for one another, love as brothers, be tenderhearted and be courteous.
In v.9 dont return evil for evil or rude remarks to another rude remark (dont put others down) BUT bless other because we may inherit one too
In v 10 Peter quotes from Ps 34:12-16 which gives us the "secret" formula for one who loves life and who wants to see longer days 1) refrain from speaking evil or deceit, 2) turn from evil and do good, and 3) seek peace and pursue it. Then the Psalm gives us a nice reminder THAT GOD LOOKS OUT FOR THE RIGHTEOUS AND LISTENS TO THEIR PRAYERS, BUT TURNS HIS FACE FROM THE EVIL OR THE ONES WHO DONT FOLLOW WHAT WAS SAID ABOVE.
SOOO A RECAP!!
Exodus 14- Have faith in who and what God says He will do...He will fight for us!
Nehemiah 8- Read the Word! Apply it! It brings us joy and restores our soul!
Psalm 37- Trust, Rest, Wait on the Lord! He knows the outcome!
1 Thessalonians 4- To live a quiet or being still life, we need a pure mind, loving others, and encourage others that Christ is coming back
1 Peter 3:1-6, 8-12- In order to be the woman of a gentle and quiet spirit, we need God to be #1 and being one mind with others.
Thursday, May 3, 2012
God is Working!
It has been awesome to see how God is working in my life right now! I just got back from visiting my family. It was nice to relax and get away but really focus on those relationships with those I love and don't see often.
My first weekend there I went to a ladies retreat with this amazing speaker. She is the founder of a 2 year old ministry called Zebras. The whole concept is that God made zebras to travel in herds. God made their stripes to combine together to make them like a huge animal and to scare their prey. It is the same with us as women who are Christians. We need to stick together, lifting each other up by focusing on who God is and His attributes. Her website is http://www.zebraminstires.com. You should check it out! But any who... God really used her to move in my life on a whole other level. She gave us some verses on being still and when I got back from the retreat still visiting my family, God began to beckon me to read those verses. At first I was not sure because I was working on something else for a devo I have to write but He kept saying read these verses. So I did and wow did He prepare me for so much. He is so faithful!
A few days before I had to go back to PA, I began to be restless. I was not ready to go back. I realized how I busy I was at home. I work at a daycare at various random times. I help out my husband at his business. I clean my house and pay the bills. I know that seems like life but its overwhelming. I was just so tormented but I just kept hold of those verses and wow He is working. I have been praying to see what changes I need to do to prioritize my time better. But oh the strength, the peace He has given to me.
There is something that God also showed me about being still from the ladies retreat. The speaker told us about refreshing ourselves after we have had an emotional time or heavily involved in ministry. She said after awana she would always go for a big bowl of cereal to just relax and regroup. But she encouraged us instead of eating something or in my case watching tv, we need to draw near to God. For me, it made me see the importance of going to Him at every moment I could during the day instead of just once in the morning when I wake up. I have spiritual breaks breaks at work I could take advantage of. I have also made the commitment to get into His word when I get off work at six. It has been amazing to see how He is working.
I encourage you guys to be still and get that "big bowl of cereal". : )
Thursday, March 15, 2012
God's Faithfulness and Eternity part 2
Lately I have been up and down in my emotions, worrying about the things of this world and really allowing it to alter my mood. It is frustrating in a way because I dont like being this way. I become ineffective for God and there is little joy. But what is so cool is that God is SO FAITHFUL TO ME. I wish I could hold onto that better in my mind and thought process but hey it is about progress not perfection (Elizabeth Elliot) Everytime I seek His face, He helps me and brings peace even if I continuously keep coming back day after day. For instance, all weekend was rough and Monday came around with a new week of work. It was rough. I did not sleep well the night before and I was struggling with my mindset. I got ready and did my routine as usual and went to my husband's business to help him open. It was hard but all of a sudden BAM God's peace with constant prayer came upon me. Work at the daycare went well and after work, my husband surprised me to take me out for coffee just to spend time with me. We also were celebrating because we now officially owe our trailer. It was a good day. I could not even think about how I was that morning. God is faithful even now when I am still struggling.
Another thing on how God is faithful is how eternity keeps coming up. I read more of my book called Desire by John Eldredge and he was talking about groaning. We groan for the things that are not seen and sometimes we dont allow it. As humans, we hate pain but as he stated, pain brings acknowledgement of who God is in our lives. He uses the example of a lady who wanted to relax after being a speaker of a huge conference. She goes antique shopping. The first store she goes into is this real expensive one. She walks in sad and astounded by the prices. But then something caught her eye in the corner of the store. It was this beautiful stain glass window. She longed for it but then saw the price of 8000 dollars. She became angry and sad but then had a thought. She will be getting one just like that in heaven in her mansion God is building for her now. She walked away happy. So I started to think how can life around me that affects me bring eternity to mind. I started to think about Bob our guinea and his crazy squawking. Sometimes I also listen to the other birds that sometimes sound like Bob but isnt. They also sound more pretty then he does ; ) But how does that remind me of heaven? And then God brought a thought into my head. They are like little angels here are earth singing to their creator. It almost made me cry. God is faithful even in the small things
Another thing on how God is faithful is how eternity keeps coming up. I read more of my book called Desire by John Eldredge and he was talking about groaning. We groan for the things that are not seen and sometimes we dont allow it. As humans, we hate pain but as he stated, pain brings acknowledgement of who God is in our lives. He uses the example of a lady who wanted to relax after being a speaker of a huge conference. She goes antique shopping. The first store she goes into is this real expensive one. She walks in sad and astounded by the prices. But then something caught her eye in the corner of the store. It was this beautiful stain glass window. She longed for it but then saw the price of 8000 dollars. She became angry and sad but then had a thought. She will be getting one just like that in heaven in her mansion God is building for her now. She walked away happy. So I started to think how can life around me that affects me bring eternity to mind. I started to think about Bob our guinea and his crazy squawking. Sometimes I also listen to the other birds that sometimes sound like Bob but isnt. They also sound more pretty then he does ; ) But how does that remind me of heaven? And then God brought a thought into my head. They are like little angels here are earth singing to their creator. It almost made me cry. God is faithful even in the small things
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Eternity
Off and on God has been laying on my heart about eternity. Sometimes our pastor at church mentions a family who just lost a member of their family and they are at peace because they are in the presence of Christ. But like Monday and yesterday, God really has been pressing it more on my heart.
Monday started like any other day except it was warmer outside so I decided to jog. As I was making my laps, I heard our friendly neighborhood guneas which Cyrus and I have named bob and Betty. They r the funniest creatures especially to watch when they get separated and squak until they find each other. Well on this morning, I only saw bob, the black, grey, and white one but there was no Betty. It was kinda weird. He was just by himself and they never like leaving each other. It was weird. I did not think too much more about it until when Cyrus took me to work. as we were driving down our street, there was poor bob and still no betty. Then Cyrus noticed tons and tons of feathers on both sides of the road. We both got the feeling at the same time. Did something happen to Betty? Cyrus went back to the house to investigate after he dropped me off. He texted me saying there was no body anywhere and no blood on the feathers. It was just so sad. I thought about it all day and thought it was the sadest thing that this could be the end of Betty. Cyrus and I kept on thinking that maybe she is ok and just got scared and ran off or maybe the worse that a dog ran off with her and killed her. It is just so sad. Also that night, I also read some of my book called Desire by John Eldredge. The basis of his book is "how to learn how to uncover our desires and learn to decipher them". Desires aren't bad. Desires were meant to be spent forever and forever in eden with God, but as humans we ruined that when we took control. Now we battle with our desires. Are they good or do they consume us and our thoughts? He then states that we try to "arrange" our life to fulfill our desire and what we think is right for us. But what about eternity? What if our desires were so consumed in eternity? How would our everyday perspective change? How about the people we work with? The family members that are not saved? I will confess I love to "arrange" my life. I have made the comment several times, God you can come back when I have kids, maybe grandkids and have this amazing ministry. But what if God does not allow me to have any of those things? Would I be happy? Cyrus talked to an aquaintance of his yesterday. Recently his friend suddenly lost his wife. He has 3 kids and owns his own business. He told Cyrus that he hs spent the past 3 weeks in bed out of grief. How sad is that? I feel so bad for him. I cant imagine that happening to me. That is certainty not in "my plans" for my husband to die. Once again eternity is the answer. Focusing on eternity on heaven. Sin in our world is such an awful thing. It twists our thoughts and confuse us from what we really need to focus on. I need to focus on the kids I work with everyday even if they drive me insane. They need Christ. Will I see them in eternity in heaven? I challenge you as my reader to truly mediatate what it means to have an eternal perspective in this twisted world. It will be interesting to see where God takes this in my life. I have seen him already change alot of my thinking because of just one bird. http://www.ransomedheart.com/?q=node/87
Monday started like any other day except it was warmer outside so I decided to jog. As I was making my laps, I heard our friendly neighborhood guneas which Cyrus and I have named bob and Betty. They r the funniest creatures especially to watch when they get separated and squak until they find each other. Well on this morning, I only saw bob, the black, grey, and white one but there was no Betty. It was kinda weird. He was just by himself and they never like leaving each other. It was weird. I did not think too much more about it until when Cyrus took me to work. as we were driving down our street, there was poor bob and still no betty. Then Cyrus noticed tons and tons of feathers on both sides of the road. We both got the feeling at the same time. Did something happen to Betty? Cyrus went back to the house to investigate after he dropped me off. He texted me saying there was no body anywhere and no blood on the feathers. It was just so sad. I thought about it all day and thought it was the sadest thing that this could be the end of Betty. Cyrus and I kept on thinking that maybe she is ok and just got scared and ran off or maybe the worse that a dog ran off with her and killed her. It is just so sad. Also that night, I also read some of my book called Desire by John Eldredge. The basis of his book is "how to learn how to uncover our desires and learn to decipher them". Desires aren't bad. Desires were meant to be spent forever and forever in eden with God, but as humans we ruined that when we took control. Now we battle with our desires. Are they good or do they consume us and our thoughts? He then states that we try to "arrange" our life to fulfill our desire and what we think is right for us. But what about eternity? What if our desires were so consumed in eternity? How would our everyday perspective change? How about the people we work with? The family members that are not saved? I will confess I love to "arrange" my life. I have made the comment several times, God you can come back when I have kids, maybe grandkids and have this amazing ministry. But what if God does not allow me to have any of those things? Would I be happy? Cyrus talked to an aquaintance of his yesterday. Recently his friend suddenly lost his wife. He has 3 kids and owns his own business. He told Cyrus that he hs spent the past 3 weeks in bed out of grief. How sad is that? I feel so bad for him. I cant imagine that happening to me. That is certainty not in "my plans" for my husband to die. Once again eternity is the answer. Focusing on eternity on heaven. Sin in our world is such an awful thing. It twists our thoughts and confuse us from what we really need to focus on. I need to focus on the kids I work with everyday even if they drive me insane. They need Christ. Will I see them in eternity in heaven? I challenge you as my reader to truly mediatate what it means to have an eternal perspective in this twisted world. It will be interesting to see where God takes this in my life. I have seen him already change alot of my thinking because of just one bird. http://www.ransomedheart.com/?q=node/87
Friday, February 3, 2012
Man and Our Total Depravity
As I continue to grow in my relationship with God, He shows me so many things in my life and how He remains faithful to me as I slowly "get it". My husband loves to watch post nuclear times such as The Road or The Book of Eli. He also likes to listen to Glenn Beck and all his things about how economical and political hardships are going to happen and how we need to prepare for it. To be honest, I don't know what to believe. I do know our world, our nation, is settling for second best and probably the most self absorbed group of people ever. Clearly, we feel like we can do whatever we want because we are "so powerful" and everything is given to us on a silver platter. The people who govern over our nation are desperately wicked and evil and think clearly only about their own needs and not the needs of our failing nation. But this is not my point of this blog. My point is we are failing as a nation because our Human existence is evil and depraved focusing only on ourselves and not God. And because God is a holy and just God, He can't really allow this for much longer. Huge nations just don't last long. Rome only lasted for 200 years. We have a quite a couple more decades to even reach our 300 birthday. So we are going to fail. It is just how it is. And how are we going to react? When our economy hits rock bottom or we get taken over by a more powerful country, how are we going to take it? To be honest, Cyrus and I are your typical young couple just getting by living simple. Yes we are very fortunate for the things we do have that are nice. But imagine having none of that? My question still remains, how will we respond? When I watch these movies, (ok I know these are just movies but go along with me on this) the people are so down right evil. They think only on how to survive and thats it. I mean in the movie, The Road, the dad is clearly a dad who takes care of his kid and does anything for him but when it comes to the point with this poor guy who does steal their things he is down right merciless. I mean his true sinful nature comes out of him. I will confess being poor or living in a different place every night or not sure what you are going to eat for the day is scary, but I think man's depravity scares me the most. I know what I am capable of thinking when I allow my flesh to get the best of me. But imagine people who dont have Christ. I don't know. In the long run, it makes me feel very thankful for God's perfect gift that He has given to me. I also know that He is faithful and only puts me through things that He has prepared me for in order to handle them. My only thought for you as my reader, how will you respond? How will we respond if Obama get re elected for another 4 years and changes more things in our nation? I know our God is a good God but He is also a God who needs to be glorified. That is my point. In our human depravity, in our human struggles, in our human rebelliousness and pride, God will be glorified. No matter how much I fret or try to control or reason about the condition of our world, my God will be glorified. All I need to do is keep my focus on Him. In Him, I am strong. In Him, I can overcome the world. Oh how I wish that for my frail human existence today.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
My tv shows and prayer
Last Wednesday, I just started a bible study at my church. The book is about prayer by Elisabeth george. I just got finished reading the second chapter for next week. The chapter title is 10 reasons why women don't pray. She gives the first 3 reasons which are worldiness, busyness, and foolishness. These first 3 screamed out my name! I feel recently that God has been convicting me of the tv shows Cyrus and I watch and how much time we watch them. Most of you know that I am a very opinionated person especially when my emotions are involved. Now I know this will sound weird but I really get involved in my tv shows. I remember the first time I got real upset at the tv was when my family and I were watching Survivor, the reality show. It was the finale and there was this deceptive man who won and clearly did not deserve it at all. Let's say he certainty played by the typical reality show rules. I got so mad where I started to yell at the tv. Yes I know really lame and embarrassing : /. Cyrus and I also recently watched this show called criminal minds. It was a good show but just way to dark where one night I had these really fleshy dreams. I felt evil! I mean my heart is definitely desperately wicked. So we quit decided to quit watching it. Last night we are watched 24, the last and final season. Boy this show always gets better every season. Good thing it's over! But once again of course I was yelling at the tv calling this one girl a whore and everything else I thought of at that time. I will confess at that time God put some thoughts into my head. "Kristina this is certainty bringing the worse out of u. Is it worth it?" I even dreamt about it. Is it really worth watching these shows where my mind is so invested in them? Not really... But I will confess, my flesh really likes it. I don't want to give it up but I really want my life to follow Christ. I have fears too. Like what is Cyrus going to say about it? I mean we always eat in front of the tv. What if he does not like the idea? I mean when we watch tv it is like this source of relaxation, a way to escape the world for a few hours. But then how important is my relationship with God especially if this means having more time to pray or get a new hobbie? I know this sounds dumb but it is actually this pleasure thing. But I am going to make the step. So please pray for me and most importantly pray that God can be glorified in this.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
He wants my time!!
This past week has been very busy for me since I have decided to be more content and soak in every moment. I went to a child abuse training at my church so I can start getting involved on Monday. It was very informing and made me see the importance of communication with the people you work with when it comes to the safety of the kids. I did not get back till 9:00 at night. Tuesday, I went over to my in laws house to spend some time with my mother in law. We decided that we will meet every Tuesday where I learn more about cooking and gardening and those wifey things. I also just started a BIble study at my church on Wednesdays. I got talking to a very nice lady and did not leave till 8:40 and got home at 9:15 after grabbing something at Wendys. Tonight will be the first time where Cyrus and I will have nothing to do. God also have answered my prayers concerning changing my hours at work so I wont be so tired and so I could get more involved. Starting tomorrow, I get to sleep in and work 10 til closing. On saturday, I get to go out and have coffee with my supervisor at work. SO like I said I have been very busy.
But this morning during my quiet time, I began to feel negative. Even though I get to sleep in and still give Cyrus his break, I will confess that closing will take sometime to adjust. It will move my time up with my mother in law and it feels like my day is all gone. But then I begin to think. This is what I want: to live each moment as it comes along. That means having to realize that my life, my time is not mine and its about glorifying God. It is funny how God reminded me of that this Sunday at church.
But Jesus answered them, saying, “The hour has come that the Son of Man should be glorified. Most assuredly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it produces much grain. He who loves his life will lose it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. If anyone serves Me, let him follow Me; and where I am, there My servant will be also. If anyone serves Me, him My Father will honor. John 12:23-26
I really can be selfish with my time and worry that I will never have time for myself or even my husband. But He calls us to lose our life and follow Him. I then was remembered a passage that I have been trying to memorize.
Trust in the LORD, and do good; Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.
Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the LORD, Trust also in Him, And He shall bring it to pass.
He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light, And your justice as the noonday.
Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for Him; Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way,
Because of the man who brings wicked schemes to pass.
Cease from anger, and forsake wrath; Do not fret—it only causes harm. Psalm 37:3-8
Its "easy" for us to do good but we will always loose heart when doing good and not trusting in the Lord. I dont need to worry about my time because if I am trusting God to know He will work things out while spending time with my mother in law or with my husband, that there will be enough time for me. Verse 4 is states it well. I need to delight myself in the Lord and He will give me the desires of my heart. He already showed me that with giving me later hours. In order to trust in the Lord and do good, I have to dwell in His land of faithfulness and He certainity has been faithful.
So we will see how next week goes because I will once again be busy all the way to Thursday night just like this week. But you know what I dont need to worry about that because I still have right now in the trailer with my husband before I go home and make dinner : )
But this morning during my quiet time, I began to feel negative. Even though I get to sleep in and still give Cyrus his break, I will confess that closing will take sometime to adjust. It will move my time up with my mother in law and it feels like my day is all gone. But then I begin to think. This is what I want: to live each moment as it comes along. That means having to realize that my life, my time is not mine and its about glorifying God. It is funny how God reminded me of that this Sunday at church.
But Jesus answered them, saying, “The hour has come that the Son of Man should be glorified. Most assuredly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it produces much grain. He who loves his life will lose it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. If anyone serves Me, let him follow Me; and where I am, there My servant will be also. If anyone serves Me, him My Father will honor. John 12:23-26
I really can be selfish with my time and worry that I will never have time for myself or even my husband. But He calls us to lose our life and follow Him. I then was remembered a passage that I have been trying to memorize.
Trust in the LORD, and do good; Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.
Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the LORD, Trust also in Him, And He shall bring it to pass.
He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light, And your justice as the noonday.
Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for Him; Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way,
Because of the man who brings wicked schemes to pass.
Cease from anger, and forsake wrath; Do not fret—it only causes harm. Psalm 37:3-8
Its "easy" for us to do good but we will always loose heart when doing good and not trusting in the Lord. I dont need to worry about my time because if I am trusting God to know He will work things out while spending time with my mother in law or with my husband, that there will be enough time for me. Verse 4 is states it well. I need to delight myself in the Lord and He will give me the desires of my heart. He already showed me that with giving me later hours. In order to trust in the Lord and do good, I have to dwell in His land of faithfulness and He certainity has been faithful.
So we will see how next week goes because I will once again be busy all the way to Thursday night just like this week. But you know what I dont need to worry about that because I still have right now in the trailer with my husband before I go home and make dinner : )
Sunday, January 8, 2012
New Year Resolution
Ok first of all, I know this is a little late, but I thought this was appropriate for me rejoining my blog I have abandoned. Now I am not a huge fan of resolutions but this one seems applicable for where I am in life with my relationship with Christ. This year I want to meditate on, by the grace of God, to focus on what God gives to me at this moment right here right now. I know that in the past few months, I have been struggling alot with where God has me currently in my life. I want more. I have always been a person who wanted what was next in life. When I was in high school, I just wanted to graduate. After graduation and having been in college for awhile, I thought it was the best that I would meet "the one" who I was to marry. I then graduated and went to Camfel where I did meet my husband. We got married and things were rocky at first but became alot better when God revealed who I truly was in Him. Now being married for 3 years and things are going pretty well, I am wanting to have a baby. "MAN will I ever be happy?" is a common thought I strugle with. Always wanting something more. Always wanting the next thing in life. Always comparing myself with others. When will I finally "get it"? I have currently started to read a book called, "The Resolution for Women" by Priscilla Shirer. It is based off of the resolution for the men in the movie Courageous. The first sections is about being content. I read the first section fast at first but then realized that I was even being discontent while reading it, wanting it to be different. So I reread it. In the first chapter, she wrote about a time she had with a friend on her birthday. Her friend recalled how the year when she turned 36 and how it was a good year. She was able to name off abunch of good times she had. Priscilla, on the other hand, realized at that moment how much she missed out in life. She could recall some good times but did she soak them in and enjoy it? I began to think the same thing. I am a person of structure. I wake up every morning doing the same routine over and over again. But what am I missing when I continue on my way thinking about what is going to happen next or later on that day? I could be missing a time I could be spending with my husband, reading to him or just giving him a good backrub. Also, recently, during my quiet time, I have been really meditating on God's Faithfulness through His mercy and truth in the good and the bad times. For example this last Friday, at 4:30 in the morning, I began to think about the day before and how good it really was. Since Cyrus closed the business for a few days, I did not have to go there after work like I always did but had tons of free time on my hands to spend with hime. It was a really good feeling to do want I enjoyed to do with my husband and later on with my in laws. Then God put a thought into my head. "Kristina, I know what you need at this time with your busy schedule. If you had a baby, would you be able to do what you did yesterday? Trust in me to know that I have a perfect timing for everything. Focus on what you have right now in your life." I have my husband and his business. I have a job with abunch of amazing ladies to work with and to encourage as they teach the little ones there. I also have my mother in law who I need to get to know better. I will also be starting a Bible study at the church. God showed me at that time that there are still things that need to be done now. So I just continue on making myself focus on the moment at hand and soaking it in, knowing this is where He has me, knowing He sees the bigger picture. I am excited to see what He will do with me this year and the people around me He has put into my life. : )
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