Sunday, December 30, 2012

Resolutions part one

It has been AMAZING to see how God has worked in my life this past year. At the beginning of the year, I made a resolution to be more content in where God has me right now in this part of my life ( He has made be more content (not perfect at it though : ) ) in 5 areas, starting at 5 and counting down, this past year that I will share with you.

5) My Job
At the beginning of this year, my schedule was switched from morning shift to the afternoon/closing shift. It was nice to get more sleep and be less zombie like all the time. I also got to experience being a teacher for 5 one year olds. From that experience, I have come to enjoy that age. They are no longer little babies but they are not in the terrible twos yet. The "perfect" age. I also have been able to build a accountability with some of the other ladies about not gossiping with each other about how things are run or things that we simply just don't like. For this next year, some things are changing and I am going to have to learn what my role in that is going to be and probably will grow more in that.

4) Living here in Pa
I was not overly happy about being here in Pa. Just another place to get use to. Also, I had to get to know my in laws who are very different from my own family. God made me see the importance of their relationship and convicted me of spending more time with them. WOW what a blessing He has given to me. He has made me content in my relationship with my in laws who I now appreciate alot and know they care for me and sometimes they spoil me : ) But now there is my grandparents in law I need to get to know more.

3) The evil "M" word (Money) : )
I have always been a penny pincher. I hardly spend extra money for myself unless it is a coffee drink at Dunkin Donuts or better yet Starbucks : ) But living paycheck to paycheck and owning your own business is sometimes unsettling. But God has really reminded me of where my money, hours at work, or people who come to the trailer come from. They come from Him. It is all in His hands. Like it says in that O so familiar passage of Matthew 6, if he takes care of the birds by having them travel south for the winter or the beautiful flowers that currently live underground in my mother-in-laws garden ready whenever it is spring to come back up, then He will take care of me. NOW DONT GET ME WRONG HERE. I AM NO WHERE PERFECT WITH MONEY but I do know that He will provide even when it is rough or when I doubt Him. Even now with possible changes in the business or my medical bill from my colonoscopy that seems to haunt me, I have to keep leaning on the promises He will take care of us.

2) Babies
This one is very close to number 1 because I struggle off and on randomly so much with this one and where God has taken me with it is AMAZING. He has shown to me that He is the one who is faithful and very much in control with when I will be able to have a baby. For pete's sake, I could get pregnant right now on birth control. That is how in control He is. One verse I have claimed as my own alot is in 2 Samuel 22:31   
As for God, His way is perfect;
The word of the Lord is proven;
He is a shield to all who trust in Him.
Another thing I hold onto is the story when I was born. My mom tells me this all the time. My mom and dad got married when they were 18 and 19 but had me when they were almost 24 and 25. Mom tells me all the time that if she had me when she was younger that I would be entirely different child. What is even cooler is that 2 years later my parents became Christians. God is faithful and all knowing and knows the perfect time to have kids. I cannot say it enough. He is faithful and He has made me very content in that. Also, when I think about other people having kids when they were only married for 2 years or even in their first year of marriage, I am thankful. They cant say that they worked in a group home and took care of tons of teenagers. They cant say they saw 8 capitols. They cant say they have 32 amazing gnomes and 2 particularly amazing gnomes like Fred and Travel. God has given that to me at this time of my life as much as He has given those couples babies at their times of their lives. He knows best. 

1) His Grace
When I just typed those words onto the computer screen, it left me speechless for a few moments. What God's Grace has shown to me is huge. I am reading a book currently called Transforming Grace by Jerry Bridges ( God has used this book to help me see how His grace works in us. Bridges uses Paul as an example alot throughout the book. The whole idea that Paul use to kill Christians and be entirely opposed of the concept of Jesus Christ but then graciously was changed forever to tell gentiles about that same God is huge. But grace does not stop at salvation. It continues on in our lives through the Holy Spirit through the good and the bad. We cannot do anything apart from the grace of God. Bridges says even when we try to do good, there is some ounce of impurity in it. We NEED the grace of God in order to live the way we need to as Christians. I talked to my pastor a little more about grace and he said it was all our perception of God's grace in our lives. We can do NOTHING apart from the grace of God. We are not even in the equation when it comes to us doing things for God or even when we try to live the good Christian life. When I put my focus on myself trying to do good, I am going to fail and kick myself. He led me to Romans 8 where there is no condemnation in Christ. I then have lost the sight of His grace. My focus needs to be what Christ has done on the cross and what He is capable to do in me because of it. I am still learning as you can tell but oh what AMAZING GRACE.

Like I said before though, I am not perfect in these areas, but because I am learning that my God is instructing and teaching me in the way I should go and that I should not be like a stubborn mule or a horse with a bit and bridle fighting Him (Psalm 32: 8-9) but allow Him to lead me to His perfect way for me.  In that I am content.

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