New Year Resolution

Ok first of all, I know this is a little late, but I thought this was appropriate for me rejoining my blog I have abandoned. Now I am not a huge fan of resolutions but this one seems applicable for where I am in life with my relationship with Christ. This year I want to meditate on, by the grace of God, to focus on what God gives to me at this moment right here right now. I know that in the past few months, I have been struggling alot with where God has me currently in my life. I want more. I have always been a person who wanted what was next in life. When I was in high school, I just wanted to graduate. After graduation and having been in college for awhile, I thought it was the best that I would meet "the one" who I was to marry. I then graduated and went to Camfel where I did meet my husband. We got married and things were rocky at first but became alot better when God revealed who I truly was in Him. Now being married for 3 years and things are going pretty well, I am wanting to have a baby. "MAN will I ever be happy?" is a common thought I strugle with. Always wanting something more. Always wanting the next thing in life. Always comparing myself with others. When will I finally "get it"? I have currently started to read a book called, "The Resolution for Women" by Priscilla Shirer. It is based off of the resolution for the men in the movie Courageous. The first sections is about being content. I read the first section fast at first but then realized that I was even being discontent while reading it, wanting it to be different. So I reread it. In the first chapter, she wrote about a time she had with a friend on her birthday. Her friend recalled how the year when she turned 36 and how it was a good year. She was able to name off abunch of good times she had. Priscilla, on the other hand, realized at that moment how much she missed out in life. She could recall some good times but did she soak them in and enjoy it? I began to think the same thing. I am a person of structure. I wake up every morning doing the same routine over and over again. But what am I missing when I continue on my way thinking about what is going to happen next or later on that day? I could be missing a time I could be spending with my husband, reading to him or just giving him a good backrub. Also, recently, during my quiet time, I have been really meditating on God's Faithfulness through His mercy and truth in the good and the bad times. For example this last Friday, at 4:30 in the morning, I began to think about the day before and how good it really was. Since Cyrus closed the business for a few days, I did not have to go there after work like I always did but had tons of free time on my hands to spend with hime. It was a really good feeling to do want I enjoyed to do with my husband and later on with my in laws. Then God put a thought into my head. "Kristina, I know what you need at this time with your busy schedule. If you had a baby, would you be able to do what you did yesterday? Trust in me to know that I have a perfect timing for everything. Focus on what you have right now in your life." I have my husband and his business. I have a job with abunch of amazing ladies to work with and to encourage as they teach the little ones there. I also have my mother in law who I need to get to know better. I will also be starting a Bible study at the church. God showed me at that time that there are still things that need to be done now. So I just continue on making myself focus on the moment at hand and soaking it in, knowing this is where He has me, knowing He sees the bigger picture. I am excited to see what He will do with me this year and the people around me He has put into my life. : )