Friday, April 19, 2013

Who I am

This blog is being written at a spurt of a moment...I am in one of those pondering moods... I dont do this very often : )

I have always been known as the serious one. I remember when I was younger, as far back as 7th grade. I never was real goofy or did outlandish things. I think the "craziest" thing I have ever done was driving in circles in a church parking lot with my friends after youth group back in high school. Yeah I know totally rebellious : P I even remember several times when I was with someone and they were doing something that made me feel uncomfortable, I would always tend to withdraw. There has always been one person who are more outgoing and bubbly than I. I know it use to brother me alot because everyone would want to be around that person even though they did like me. It is always more fun to be around someone who is more lively than I am.

Now as I have matured and almost out of the twenties, I joke around but is serious about when one gets older you really begin to not care at all what others think of you when you are just having fun. This is coming out of someone who owns 43 gnomes and is very proud of it : ) I mean it is kinda freeing to be able to have fun and not be insecure. But my personality is still the same. Matured but the same. I am the serious one. I get passionate about things that people dont seem to think are that big of a deal. And there is still many people who are more bubbly than I am. I have to say I still struggle with it but I do realize and I think (the reason for this blog) that I am ok with it.

It has been something that God has been putting on my heart alot lately. Besides being serious, I also am emotional. I wear my emotions on my sleeve as the saying goes. Sometimes I feel like that is a burdened or annoyance too. But like I said God has been changing my heart little by little about that. It always takes me back to Psalms 139:13-18

  For You formed my inward parts;

You covered me in my mother’s womb.

 I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;[b]
Marvelous are Your works,

And that my soul knows very well.

 My frame was not hidden from You,

When I was made in secret,

And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.

 Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.

And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,

When as yet there were none of them.

 How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
How great is the sum of them!

 If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand;
When I awake, I am still with You.

The parts that I are highlighted are what comes to mind. I am fearfully and wonderfully made! In His book all my days are written down. How precious are God's thoughts about me! There is tons of them, more in number than the sand!

Isaiah 64:8

 But now, O Lord,
You are our Father;
We are the clay, and You our potter;
And all we are the work of Your hand

I should not question the way I am. I am the work of my Creator's hand! He created me for ME! I am more emotional than others. I am more serious than others. Not everyone relates to the bubbly person. There always is a need for balance. Please pray for me as I go through this time of searching who God has made me. 

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