Being a Martha and a Mary

In order for my goals to be met for my little one, my relationship with my husband should be a top priority. This is something that I have really been pondering on a lot lately. I have been wanting to write on other topics, but I feel like God was really pushing this on my heart. I am a firm believer in placing God first, my husband second, and my little one third. If the order of these relationships get mixed up, all the others will suffer. I have been feeling very torn by this because currently I feel like it is all about my little one, which I enjoy, but I also love my husband. Amid his long and busy hours at work, I try to spend time with him, but every time we are intentional about it, she cries. It is so hard to listen to her cry in the other room while I am in the middle of spending time with my husband. He is very understanding most of the time which I am thankful for, but I am still hard on myself. I have always been that way, not showing much grace to myself and expecting too much. I always want to give everything I do my all and if I don't, I feel like I am disappointing those whom I love.

This morning at 4am, while I was feeding my little one, God put on my heart the story of Mary and Martha in the Bible. I read Luke 10:38-42 for my time spent with God which says:

"Now it happened as they went that He entered a certain village; and a certain woman named Martha welcomed Him into her house.  And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus’ feet and heard His word.  But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, 'Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me.' And Jesus answered and said to her, 'Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.'".

Here's what I have gathered about both women:

  

Martha

• Oldest
• Hard worker and takes it seriously 
• Detail oriented 
• Pleases people through what she knows she needs to do 
• Recognizes and is comfortable with who Jesus is 
• Bold, speaks her mind 

Mary 

• Youngest 
• Has a yearning for the Lord
• Soaks in what the Lord has to say
• Sits at His feet- humble and personal

Nothing was wrong with the traits of Martha. All of them showed me she wanted to do what was right. But she got caught up in doing that instead of drawing near to the one Person who used those traits she had. All of those things she thought were more important to do were things that were not going to last. Jesus is the only thing that will last in the long run. When I get old and grey and my body and mind are unable to do what I used to be able to do what will I be able to rest in? As I think about older people I know that are unable to do things because of their body or mind, I see they are sad, disconnected, and yearning to fill up those longings with drinking, gambling, relationships with others, or even food. But they're still sad. On the contrary, I then think of the people who are older and drawing near to God and they seem happy and focused. There is a reason. They have their focus on God. He, in turn, guides them and helps them to do the things they can do. God will help me be the better wife and mother if I just draw near to Him. Everything else will be done when He enables me to do so. "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you" as it says in James 4:8.

Now, I am not saying to abandon all and just focus on God. But rather seek out His face and give to Him my fears and my time. He wants me to invest in my relationships with my daughter and husband. He wants me to teach her about Him. He wants me to be that help meet for my husband. God will last forever in my life and also the lives of my husband and daughter if I only rest in Him first.