Monday, August 29, 2016

Tips for when You feel like You let Someone Down

Relationships always bring disappointment. We can't please everyone but the worst feeling is disappointing someone you care about or not feeling like you were able to help them. It could be a co-worker who has no one really or a sibling or your husband. You see them pretty much everyday and you can't do what you want to to help them.

As women God has made us emotional and relational human beings. It is our nature to want to help and give advice. But sometimes that isn't what that person needs.

Here are some tips that could encourage you to keep pressing on:

1) Be quiet and just listen

Fools have no interest in understanding; they only want to air their own opinions.
Proverbs 18:2 NLT
 As females we struggle with stating our own opinions before actually listening. Instead we need to step back and just listen. If tempted to speak, send a quick prayer in your head asking God to listen with your whole mind and completely open ears. I know that this is something I struggle with a lot. It definitely can push away the other person and just make them feel more stressed and frustrated. Our goal is to be there for them and allow them to say when they want our advice. 
2) Pray Pray Pray
Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other
so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results
James 5:16 NLT
Sometimes the only thing we can do is just pray. God knows their hearts and what is going on. It also can help you release your frustration and control. If they are also a Christian, ask them if you can pray with them. The key is to never give up. Prayer is powerful. 
Some things you can pray for is peace in their hearts, that God will be glorified, that you and the other person will see God work and hearts will be changed. For people not saved, pray for their salvation. Something that is hard for me is to discern when to say to them, "Hey can I pray with you now?" That is something I give to the Lord for discernment. But the point is just pray.
3) Hold onto that God loves them more than you ever can

How precious is Your lovingkindness, O God!
Therefore the children of men put their trust under the shadow of Your wings.
Psalm 36:7 NLT
In the New International Version this verse says His unfailing love which is so powerful compare to our inconsistent love we have as humans. God's love will never ever end. We can love as much as we can even in our own strength but we will always fall away from that. God is the only one who can love this person all the time as much as they need it. Because of His love, He is a place to rest in and it is stable. Only a God like that can love that person in your life the way they need to be.
4) Put them before yourself

Don’t look out only for your own interests,
but take an interest in others, too. You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had
Philippians 2:4 NLT

Having the same mind as Christ will enable us to think about their needs over ours. Sometimes when someone is down and out, it is easy to get dragged down and grumpy towards them because they could be tearing you down because of their mood. Stop and think about your attitude and how it could simply help in the here and now. I know there were times when my hubbie was just tired and overwhelm with work and I chose to be happy and it made him forget about how he was feeling for a little while. There is really power of thinking of others first. 
5) Show them grace
As each one has received a gift, minister it to one another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God
1 Peter 4:10 NKJV
Each and everyone of us have experienced the grace of God when we became Christians but that same grace is there from Him to be shown to others. Through who we are and who God has made us, we can show others the same grace He showed us. People mess up. We mess up. But when someone is struggling it can be easy to be quick to judge or get frustrated. But I like to remember how I struggle and how God shows me grace after grace after grace moment by moment. That motivates me to keep pressing on and show grace towards those who are in need of grace. Overtime that person might through God's intervention and your perseverance give themselves grace and see it through. I believe that. God's grace is that powerful

Link up with Jennifer #tellhisstory, Holley Coffee for your Heart and Jo Thankful Thursday  


  1. Such wonderful tips, Kristina. I think we struggle with very similar things ��. When I began noticing that I talked more than listened (often due to my own insecurities and fears: inwardly rather than outwardly focused), I started praying on my bike on the way to meet the person concerned, praying for God to shut my mouth and only open it when HE had something He wanted me to say...and wow: God really did answer those prayers...but your post reminds me that I must keep doing this. Just the other day I had a friend and her daughter over and realized when she left that I'd spent the whole time busy prepping lunch, cleaning up and collecting toys for her daughter to play with...instead of sitting and listening and afterwards I felt God say: "What she wanted most was for you to stop and sit with her."

    Thank you for stopping me to reflect again: much needed xx

    1. Anna! I think the listening tip is the one most seems to relate to. BUt I love how you noticed that you speak more when you feel insecure or are fearful. so true and never thought of that. Thank you friend for coming over. I always enjoy it!

  2. Love this! I am constantly telling myself that God loves my kids and my husband more than me. The mommy/wife guilt is REAL! Happy to find you today on #TellHisStory

    1. I am so glad that your stopped by. I totally can relate to the mommy/wife guilt. My poor family. lol

  3. Hi Kristina,
    Oh I'm a curious listener! Sometimes I want to ask questions about details before a friend has shared so I'm learning to give space and listen a little more closely. Yes, we women are so relational and we value our friendships -- loved these thoughts here today!

    1. a curious listener. that's interesting but so true. Plus also maybe those are not details they are not ready to share yet and it is like we are pushing them. Me too. going over to your blog now. see ya there ; )

  4. It is such a terrible feeling to know that I have let someone I love down...I so appreciate the things you shared here. You are always such a blessing, Kristina! God bless you abundantly!


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